I'm Still Not Over You
by forever
Summary: This fic is my take on season 4 DC. I wrote it before season 4 started. Some minor editings were done on the previous parts, and a new part was added.
1. I'm Still Not Over You -- Prologue

**I'm Still Not Over You**

**Prologue**

**"Pains of love be sweeter far**   
**Than all other pleasures are."**   
**-- **_John Dryden_

* * *

**She looked so beautiful even in her quite slumber. It seemed the dream had dissolved all her worries and fears into nothing. She looked so peaceful and innocent, just like a perfect picture of an angel.**

**"An angel? What a joke. An immaculate saint, she's certainly not. Her face may have passed one of the physical criteria for an angel, but in reality she's probably closer to be called a devil's advocate in training."**

**"Harsh? Don't think so. There's nothing harsh about referring her as evil."**

**"Well…probably a little bit over exaggeration with a tad of bitterness there."**

**"Harsh is certainly one quality of life I've been getting acquainted with more and more these days, with or without her."**

**He shifted his body slightly to get more comfortable in the position he was in, laying on his side with his elbow supporting his head. He had been watching her for the past hour or so. She slept quietly, no snore, no movements, no nothing, not even the sound of her breathing. He did notice that her mouth curved upward, almost smiling. He smiled at her as he reached out to touch her cheek gently. Then he let his fingers travel down to her chin. Slowly, his thumb crept up lightly caressing her lips. She did not stir.**

**"Wonder what had occupied her seemingly "happy" dream? Or the more appropriate question should be who." His genuine smile seemed to fade away before it was replaced by a sarcastic bitter smile.**

**Once again, he was the loser, but this time he was not defeated by her charm nor beauty nor wit. No not those. But by the electricity -- the electricity that had ran through his whole body and had literally paralyzed him completely just about a few hours ago, the moment he touched her.**

**He knew that she was quite aware of his weakness, a weakness which, no surprise, involved her. He also realized that by kissing her senselessly, he lost the battle. But what could he do?**

**It's not as if she had pushed him away when he pressed his lips to hers almost roughly. It's not as if she had not shoved her tongue inside his mouth sucking his whole being along with all coherent and logical thoughts. It's not like that she had not pushed him to his limit by practically tearing his brand new shirt.**

**He was totally under her spell -- her magical yet deadly spell casted through her pair of beautiful eyes that he could not stop himself from gazing into, even after he chanted over and over not to. Paired by the tears that threatened to fall, her spell couldn't be more powerful than a weapon, a weapon which had defeated him, flat.**

**He turned, so that he lay on his back with his hands behind his head, facing the ceiling, and sighed heavily, "Now…what did I get myself into, after I made a resolution not to adorn my ever so complicated life with more messes? More mess. Just what I need."**

**"Why can't I just stay away from her?"**   
**"Why can't I just tell her this is wrong?"**   
**"Why can't I just push her away like she had been doing several times?"**   
**"Why…"**

**He held his breath for few seconds then exhaled loudly making a sharp whizzing sound. He turned his face back to the sleeping figure next to him, glancing at her as his eyes softened yet still filled with a jumble of emotions. He knew why.**

**The "why" is because he is still not over her, no not even near the first stage of letting go. He loved her. He smiled softly while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.**

**"Correction. I love her. I would always love her."**

**That was the "sad" truth. He would always love her. No matter what circumstances they're in. No matter how wrong it seemed. Moreover, no matter how futile and bleak the future for them seemed now. He would continue to love her.**

**Love...**   
**Love defined wonderful things, yet it could actually kill, mentally or even physically. He had known that and had literally experienced both the wonderful and the "deadly" sides.**

**He turned away again from her, facing the ceiling. This time he closed his eyes. He didn't know what game they're playing this time, if they're in any at all."It must be some convoluted and twisted kind of game." He thought bitterly. That certainly was not the kind of love transpired between a man and a woman, in a healthy and fruitful relationship.**

**He opened his eyes slowly and sadly whispered to the thin air, before eventually succumbed to the great slumber,**   
**"Is this love?"**   


** Just today I saw you smile**   
** And it took me back to yesterday**   
** You still move me like you did**   
** When you read me with your eyes that way**   
** Haven't seen you for a while**   
** Father Time must be a friend of yours**   
** You still take my breath away**   
** Do I really have to say**   
** How much I want you**

** (*) Just when I thought I was doin' alright**   
** Sleepin' away almost half of the night**   
** Now who**   
** Who was the last one I needed to see**   
** Just when I had most of my broken heart**   
** Put back together to make a new start**   
** Now I have to forget startin' over**   
** I'm still not over you**

** I was calm as I could be**   
** As the feelings all came back again**   
** What I was supposed to do**   
** Treat you like a stranger or a friend**   
** I'm not wise in things of heart**   
** I'm not one of those who knows the moves**   
** I was hangin' by a thread**   
** Hangin' on each word you said**   
** To hear I love you**

_I'm Still Not Over You -- Richard Carpenter_

**To be continued…**   



	2. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 1

**I'm Still Not Over You**

**Part 1**

**"All love is sweet,**   
**Given or returned."**   
**-- **_Percy Bysshe Shelley_

* * *

**"Dawson Leery! You better get your tiny bun over here! And quick."**

**He could hear her voice just fine from the bottom of the stairs. She was pissed. He could tell. He slowly walked up the stairs one step at a time, stopping briefly at each step needlessly to kill some times. He approached his bedroom door cautiously and stood by the side of the frame, outside. Then he peered his head inside trying to assess the situation.**

**"There she is." Sitting Indian-style on his bed, she had her eyes focused solely to the flashing images from the television, totally dismissing his presence. He could tell that she was furious just by listening to her every so often mutters and sighs. He could mentally picture her eyes. They were probably blazing right now with anger.**

**"She does look cute, though." He decided as he, not taking his eyes off her, slowly made his way to edge of the bed where he sat down carefully trying not to disturb her.**

**"Especially like this time when she was upset or something. She would have her eyes darting back and forth and her lips protruding out into a pout, just like a little girl throwing a tantrum." He watched her from where he was sitting silently.**

**Suddenly feeling another presence in the room, she turned her attention away from the television.**

**"Hey. Just for how long you've been engaging in the act of observing your prey before going for the kill?" she asked him without smiling, in a very cool tone. Her face was rather pink probably because of her unreleased fury, or it was because of the temperature in his room. He couldn't tell which, though. It had been quite a record high summer this year with temperature soaring up to three digits.**

**He nearly smiled, hearing her greeting which was dictated by sarcasm. But seeing her blazing eyes, as he had envisioned earlier, he decided to save his butt and salvaged the remaining of their night. He looked up to her with the best puppy dog eyes he could ever make in his lifetime as he moved closer to her.**

**"Sorry." That was the only thing he could actually expel out of his mouth while he bowed his head down to show great remorse, hoping that she would lessen the blow.**

**"Oh, cut the crap, Dawson." She stood up immediately.**   
**"How could you?" Raising her voice, she asked not particularly expecting an answer.**   
**"I told you not to. But then look at what you did? You purposely went against my wish."**   
**She exhaled loudly while shaking her head in disappointment. Then, she looked away from him.**

**"I'm sorry, OK." He stood up joining her.**   
**"You know me. I have soft spot for beautiful scenery," he lightly joked as he touched her shoulder lightly, as if he was testing the water, trying to get her attention. He succeeded. Even though her eyes were not directly toward him, she glanced his way. Gathering his voice to speak up, he continued, this time in a more serious tone.**

**"You know, seeing your face so peaceful in your nap, I was suddenly being reminded of a painting I'd seen at my grandparents house, an angel painting. I've always thought that an angel only exists in the spiritual realm, not meant to be seen by the eyes of the mortals. But when I stumbled upon your peaceful slumber this afternoon, there went the validity of my "angel theory" out of the window. I certainly was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to witness an angel sleeping just before my eyes, this afternoon." He stopped briefly to catch a breath.**   
**"And what did I do in an attempt to capture the beautiful moment? I had my camera preserving it nicely." He smiled raising his eyebrows.**   
**"And without this," he said pointing to his portable video camera.**   
**"The moment would be unnecessarily wasted." He pouted, bringing back his infamous puppy eyes.**

**She looked up to him. The anger seemed to have diminished greatly after his "angel speech". Sure, his little talk was a tad bit in the saccharine side there, but it was sweet nonetheless. She actually liked it. She couldn't help it. She was actually a sucker for that. She could feel herself blushing when he straightforwardly referred to her as an angel. She almost melted right at that moment, but then remembering that he had violated her trust, her disappointment came back.**

**"But you still didn't grant my very simple wish of not wanting to be in that piece of documentary you're directing in the first place. Your speech about angel was quite touching, but you had indeed solicited my trust."**

**Her eyes searched his eyes trying to read his mind. Regret, that was what was written all over his face for sure. Feeling a bit intimidated, he avoided her eyes by glancing sideway.******

**She made him speechless. She eyed him carefully as she let her mind wander away, forgetting their little confrontation for the moment.**

**"Dawson Leery. What kind of name is that?"she thought.**   
**"You would think that would be the name of the guy who would lead a chess club or something similar, who would wear thick glasses and pants up to his chest, whose hair would always be shiny and wet because of the extra grease. But Dawson is not a nerd -- not in the physical definition anyway. He is a film nerd. That's what he is. Other than that, he is actually just a teenage boy blossoming to become a young adult, who happens to have an OK, probably even cute, face." She smiled dreamily admiring his feature.**   
**"Yes, he is definitely cute. And he's not too shabby in his other assets either," she concluded.**

**"This is way too quite," he thought regarding the situation.**   
**He turned his head toward her, and he was about to speak in an attempt to bring back the peace. But what he saw stopped him. She was watching him intently with a no so subtle grin on her face.**   
**"She is ogling me, isn't she?"**

**"Hmm…" He cleared his throat, getting her attention in return.**   
**"Like what you see, there, Missy?"**   
**"Huh?" she mumbled, acting as if she didn't know what was he saying.**   
**"You know. You've practically undressed me with your eyes just few minutes ago." He smugly grinned at her.**   
**"Not that I would mind."**   
**"What? Dawson!" she yelled. At the same, she managed to slap his back.**   
**"Ouch! That hurts," he whined, touching his back.**   
**She laughed, "That's for you and your mind being in the gutter earlier."**   
**"And this," she continued while, unbeknownst to him, grasping the pillow on the bed.**

**Whackkk! (the sound of the pillow hitting his head)**   
**"And that's." She stopped catching her breath from laughing, while gradually distancing herself from within his reach.**   
**"That's for your stubbornness."**   
**"Hey! Fine, this is war then," he declared equipping himself with the ammunition, another pillow.**

**Before they knew it, nearly fifteen minutes to half an hour had passed by with them engaging in the pillow fighting fest. They were exhausted from laughing and screaming, but most of all from the energy they had consumed by running around and dodging from each other in the small room. And the fact the temperature was still above ninety degrees, even at the night hour, didn't help that much.**

**They had decided to stop the impulsive pillow fest. And now lying on the bed, they tried to regain their composure. Their laughter had finally subsided, but their faces were still bright red from the heat. He sat down on his bed with his back to the headboard of his bed. She too sat comfortably on his bed with her legs extended out, while she rested her back on his chest. Their hands entwined.**

**"Hmm. Dawson?" She grabbed his hand and brought them to her sight. Then, she started to play with his fingers.**   
**"Hmm" was his only answer.**   
**"You really think. That… I look like an angel?"**   
**"I mean, come on. That couldn't be further away from the truth. I mean, look at me. I was no angel, am not an angel. And you know that. And everybody in this town know that" She stated turning her head to meet his eyes. He just looked at her.**   
**"I--"**   
**"Sssh…" He cut her off as he put his forefinger to her lips gently. She seemed surprised by the gesture.**   
**"Don't ever say that."**   
**"You are an angel."**   
**"You are my angel." He said softly to her ears. He put his hands on her back and turned her around, so that she sat up straight with her back facing the TV. He looked directly into her eyes and cupped her face with the palm of his hands. And slowly brought his face closer to hers.**   
**"You, Jen Lindley. You certainly are my angel. My beautiful savior."**   
**Their lips met in a sweet, lingering kiss.**   
**Yes. Dawson and Jen are together, again.**   


**Sometimes**   
** All the world can seem so**   
** Friendless**   
** And the road ahead so**   
** Endless**   
** And the dream so far away**   
** Sometimes**   
** When I'm almost**   
** To surrender**   
** Then I stop**   
** And I remember**   
** I have you**   
** To save my day**

_I Have you -- The Carpenters_

**To be continued…**   



	3. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 2

**I'm Still Not Over You**   


**Part 2**

**"The course of true love**   
**never did run smooth."**   
_-- William Shakespeare_

* * *

**She stepped out of the place she had called bed for the past weeks. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she took a few steps towards the source of the light snoring sound in the tiny room. As her eyes fell upon the sleeping figure, her lips formed the half smile she's famous with.******

**She whispered softly while maintaining the smile on her face, "Pacey". She sighed with gladness.**

**Her eyes, shimmering with delight, contented at what life has to offer...for now. "Just for now," she uttered softly to herself.**

**Suddenly, like a thief prowling unknowingly behind her back, the melancholy came back again. Despite of her attempt to ignore it, it wholly consumed her throwing off any remnants of happiness she was feeling. Concomitantly, her eyes gradually lost their luster becoming dark, and her vision became unfocused to the surrounding. Her smile was gone. She had that far and away look.**

**She could hear them. She could picture them.**

**_"First we're friends, then we're a couple, then we're friends again, then we're a couple. So...So what are we now?"_**

**_"We're Dawson and Joey."_**

**"Not anymore, we're not." She mused sadly while shaking her head as the image of them sitting on the dock faded away. No more.**

**Her pondering was cut short by the sound of a soft mumble next to her. And her focus was back. She could see the handsome face that she's been accustomed to seeing every day and every night. She leaned toward him as she touched his arm lightly, "Pacey?"**

** No answer. She felt relieved.**

**Joey looked away from the sleeping Pacey as she felt guilt overcame her. She didn't know why she felt guilty. She just knew that she had to get out of there quickly.**

**She took a few steps back, and then she took another last quick glance at Pacey before exiting the cabin.**

**The wind blew rather calmly that night, and despite the chill it brought, a lone figure was under its caressed.**

**Joey Potter, illuminated just by the stars and the moon, stood against the metal rail, gazing into the dark murky water beneath her. Her arms were wrapped around her to barricade herself from the icy breeze. Her hair danced freely yet gently with guidance from the flow of air around her. Occasionally, her hand would sweep away the stubborn strands of hair that annoyingly poked her eyes.**

**After a few minutes, she shifted her position and looked up to the sky.******

**The sky was filled with glimmering stars, and the moon was there watching her also. It was one of the most beautiful sights she'd ever encountered during their whole journey. It was one of the most comfortable and peaceful nights also, especially after witnessing upfront the tropical storm monster.**

**The storm…**

** She remembered that night vividly. It was a night unlike this one, no stars and no moon. And the wind – the wind was probably the same kind they would have in a hurricane or something – had power to topple their boat for sure. Despite of the obvious situations and the continuous warnings broadcasted through the radio, Pacey had insisted to set sail that very night.**

**"Come on Jo. You know if we would postpone our trip another night, we wouldn't be able to make it there on time, let alone to catch the sunset," he reasoned.**

**Sounding exasperated, she lifted her hand in the air, "But Pacey, are you deaf? Have you been listening at all to the radio?" He just shrugged acknowledging her.**

**"They said a storm warning is in effect. A tropical storm that has a good potential to become a full-blown hurricane is in its way. And may I remind you. I had experienced the hurricane before, and you had too. That wasn't pretty, Pacey. Not at all. I don't plan to experience that again, anytime soon, let alone in this tiny boat, an easy prey for the destructive wind and the killer waves." Her face showed a mixture of frustration and apprehension.**

**He smiled as he put his hands around her. "Jo. Jo. Jo. Aren't you just the biggest scaredy cat? Don't worry, OK. I assure you that we all will be fine. I can guarantee that we all will still be in one piece. And if anything else, I will always protect you." He stopped briefly to plant a small kiss on her cheek.**

**"And anyway, the so called storm is miles away from us now. And on top of that, we will actually sail on the opposite direction of the storm's path, away from the storm. We'll be fine. OK?" He eyed her searching for some kind of agreement.**

**"Yeah. But. I mean. I mean this is a storm, Pacey. Our life is pretty much in its claw."**

**With his hands on her shoulders, he turned her around to face him . He looked directly into her eyes. Then, softly said, "Don't worry, Jo. I won't let anything, not even a powerful menacing storm, to hurt you. And if it could really make you feel better, we can stop anytime you feel like the storm has picked up or something. Agree?"**

**She just smiled weakly at him and nodded. Still the hesitation mixed with trepidation was still apparent on her face. How could she say no to him. Observing his face which filled with great expectation, she just couldn't. Not to Pacey…**

**She sighed.**

**But now, she wished she would have done that. Approximately three to four hours after their conversation, they came face to face with the notorious "monster" itself. Half of the inside of the boat was filled with water. Frantically, while fighting the rage of nature, they both worked nonstop drawing the water with pails out of the cabin in order to save the boat from sinking.**

**She shuddered slightly remembering the moment. Thankfully, they were saved by a coast guard patrol boat which happened to be there due to a report of a missing fisherman. She exhaled audibly. She couldn't tell what would happen if the patrol boat would've not been there. They were lucky…**

**Feeling a bit chilled, she put her hands inside the pockets of her pajama pants. She felt something touching her left hand. As soon as she realized what the article was, a feeling of sadness hunted her down. Her eyes softened. Clutching the article, she pulled out her hands. Slowly she brought it into her view where she un-clutched her hand displaying a piece of rumpled and partially torn out paper. She looked at it as if she was holding something very valuable. Tentatively at first, she unfolded and smoothed out the paper revealing scribbles and handwritings. Her handwriting. Softly, she read it out to herself.**

_Dear Dawson,_

_I'm sorry, I (crossed out)_

_Funny. I thought I would never encounter a problem writing letter to you. I mean, you and I, we go way back. Was I wrong or what? I couldn't even decide on how to start the greeting. Should I use dear, or dearest , or a more casual tone hi? You would probably tease me if you would've bee (unfinished)_

_Dawson, I miss you. I know this is difficult for us now, and I know I'm asking too much here, but I couldn't help my self. Please, please, let me still be your friend. I don't know what I could do without you (scribbled)_

_Remember, one time I said that we'd get the happy ending? I still believe that you and I will still be able to get the happy ending even though that we're not together. We're not even closed to the ending, Dawson. But we'll be there. I have faith in us. I mean we are best friends, right? (scribbled)_

_I might have Pacey by my side now, but…_   


**Abruptly she stopped, as she felt an arm snaking around her waist. Alarmed, she crumpled the piece of paper on the palm of her right hand quickly, clenching her fist tightly with the intention to hide it from view, before she turned around to face him while keeping her hands on her back. She showed him her sweetest smile.**

* * *

**"Hey," he called out to her softly .**

**"Hey," she answered.**

**"What are you doing out here at this hour. And boy, Joey, this is cold." He shivered wrapping his arms around him in an effort to maintain his body temperature.**

**"Nothing. Just couldn't sleep."**

**"Oh, come on, Jo. Give me more credit than that. It couldn't be nothing. It has to be something." He finished, crossing his fingers really hoping that this time she told him the truth.**

**"Oh all right," she gave in. She couldn't really hide her emotions from him, but she didn't have to tell the truth, right... about the letter?**   
**"I was just doing some thinking," she answered gingerly.**

**"Thinking about…" he pursued cautiously.**

**"About us. About you and me. About the future. About what would happen once this is over," she told him, eyeing him, as Pacey's expression stiffened.**

**Then, watching his crestfallen face, she immediately added, "I mean -- don't get me wrong, Pacey. I loved this. This is heaven compared to the perfunctory world of Capeside. I wouldn't trade this for anything else." She smiled, with her lips pressed together.**

**"But face it, Pacey. This…" She sighed and slowly extended out one of her arms, and made a circular movement with that, trying to emphasize her point. "This is not forever. This is all ephemeral. Poof! It will be gone." She raised her left arm dramatically. "Vanished into a collection of memories somewhere in our brain, meant to be evaporated by our so-called hectic life. Just a photo album will be left for us to reminisce over."**

**"And, the minute we step off this boat around midnight tomorrow. We will be hit hard by the realization. The realization of what we did. The realization that this is all…" she trailed off.**

**"A mistake! Say it Jo. Say it. This is a mistake. That's what you've been feeling all along." He finished for her, almost shouting. He looked upset as he disentangled his arm from around her almost roughly. He was extremely upset.**

**She looked at him with bewildered eyes, feeling her body temperature rise rapidly.**   
**"No!" she shouted as loud as he did.**   
**"I didn't say that, Pacey." He looked at her questioningly.**

**She lowered her voice while letting her pupils danced with apparent intensity, searching his eyes.**   
**"Did you hear me before, Pacey?"******

**Taking his hands and holding them in hers, she continued, "I am here now, Pacey, with you. Aren't I?" She showed him her crooked smile. He just glanced at her without saying anything.**   
**"You are what I need, Pacey. What I want. And this." She lifted his hands a little. "This is certainly not a mistake," she assured him by squeezing his hands lightly. He looked to her with a sense of doubt. A faint smile slowly escaped from his lips. He believed her.**

**"I would do it again if I would have the chance to," she whispered softly with her eyes deeply penetrating into his soul.**

**Unsure of what to do next, Pacey pulled Joey unto him, embracing her tightly with all of his might, afraid that she might "fly" if he ever loosened his grip.******

**Joey, feeling extremely relieved, rested her chin on his shoulder, and a smile appeared on her face.**

**Then, as she brought her arms around his waist, she noticed that her right hand was still in a clenched fist holding the letter – the letter for Dawson which she had started since the beginning of her journey, which had been revised so many times making the paper looked worn, but never had the courage to send it.******

**She squeezed the crumpled paper tightly as she closed her eyes trying to overcome the feeling of sorrow that suddenly entered her. Her smile diminished from her face, and her eyes, once were bright and clear, were hazed with uncertainty.**

**In her mind, she weakly echoed her thought earlier in the cabin as the image of them sitting on the dock being replayed in the background. "I should stop thinking about that...about him...just for now...but I just couldn't, "she thought quietly.**

**_"Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?"_**

**_"I hope so. For their sakes."_**

**A silent tear drop trickled down Joey Potter's cheek, which was immediately wiped away by the ice-cold breeze.**

**To be continued…**   



	4. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 3

**I'm Still Not Over You**   


**Part 3**

**"Hearts are not had as gift**   
**But hearts are earned…"**   
_-- William Butler Yeats_

* * *

**Dusk fell over the little town of Capeside, drowning it in an orange-pink hue. It brought along tranquility that had progressively replaced the bustle of the daily life.**

**Somewhere along the creek on a solitary dock stood nearby a white big house, a group of friends stood by the edge, with the sky painted in a palette of dusk colors as the backdrop.**

**"OK, guys. Here it is. Smile!"**

**After almost a minute passed…**

**"OK, Dawson, when will this so-called thing happen?"******

**"Yup, I second that. I mean, if I would have to maintain this position any longer, I would severely damage my muscle tissues."******

**"Oh…Quit whining, Andie."******

**"Sure, Jack. Hmm…Let me think. Was that you that a minute ago said that this was a stupid idea? I guess, I heard wrong, then," Andie sarcastically said to her brother after giving him a menacing glare.**

**"Guys…" Dawson meddled in.**   
**"Can we just focus back onto the camera." He sounded almost begging, as he turned to look to his right at both Andie and Jack, giving them a pleading look.******

**"It should be any…" he trailed off before they were showered with at least three strikes of flashes.******

**The camera had indeed frozen the "natural" moment, as Dawson had always called it.**

**Everybody looked dumbfounded into the camera initially, before breaking off into giggles which later then turned into fits of laughter.**

**Once the hilarity had dissipated a bit, Dawson looked at his friends and said, "Ok, that's a wrap guys. Thanks for coming."**

**Andie looked at him questioningly. "Are you sure, Dawson? I mean, I'm not an avid photographer nor I'm an amateur one. Come on, camera for me is synonymous to a thing with a button that you supposedly need to press with an effort to capture the view or scenery or whatever you can see through the miniscule window. Nothing like those state of the art gadgets you have there." She pointed to the pile of equipments lying on the wooden floor.**   
**"But I do know for sure that this evening haven't been quite a productive one, especially for you, an inspired young photographer in the making." She finished in one breath, and then looked around her.**

**While Dawson and Jen just glanced at her funnily, Jack, suppressing the urge to chuckle, moved toward his sister. He patted her on the back, earning another glare from her. "Sis, I think we better just go home. Remember? Family dinner is on the schedule for tonight."**

**Andie looked horrified at her brother. "Gosh, Jack. You're right. That's tonight, isn't it? Dad is just going to kill me. Jack, I have totally dismissed this event completely that I haven't gone shopping at all. I think we need to stop by at the market first thing now. Ooh Darn! I forgot the list. Where did I put it last time?" She asked to nobody in particular as she was busy panicking and talking to herself, totally ignoring her amused audience.**

**"Family dinner? I thought you guys have always had dinner together. I thought that should be sufficient enough to be called a family dinner. You know, a father and his son and daughter all together sitting in the dining room. That rings like a family to me." Jen confusedly looked up to Jack, as she was helping Dawson with packing up the equipments.**

**Jack, putting his right arm around Andie's shoulder, lightly replied, "Oh no, we have our aunt and her family coming from California last night."**

**"Our favorite aunt who had always grace us with her presence by her mindless chatter of what's new in the Mc Phee's kingdom," Andie sarcastically added.******

**Jen just raised her eyebrows in response, looking at Jack, who gave a smirk at her before he started to walk away with Andie in tow.**

**"Later guys," Jack called out, walking away.**

**"Have fun at the dinner," Jen casually yelled out to the siblings as she saw their backs moving further away from Dawson and her.******

**"Don't forget to save us the juicy part of the dinner," Dawson jokingly added, earning a stare from Jen as he shrugged innocently.**

**Catching Dawson's last comment, while Jack only smiled in response, Andie turned her head briefly over her shoulder. She saw the two people she had grown to know well over the summer looking so carefree and happy. A smile momentarily appeared on her face. "Those two deserve to be happy, for now... Just for now," she thought, dreading the future.******

**Turning around, she followed Jack quietly. Her mind drifted off.**   


* * *

**Dawson and Jen had found each other in the moment of weakness, bitterness, and pain.**   
**Following Joey's sudden departure, Dawson had literally steered clear out of any things associated with Joey Potter, and friends were included in the list.******

**True, that they had one supposedly successful movie night orchestrated by Jen right after the wedding. And were about to have another successful one the next night. But, that was before he was aware of Joey's unforeseen and ludicrous escapade. That was just before Joey's sister, Bessie, came practically ripping his bedroom door off the hinges, dropping the dreadful news.**

**Andie could never forget that night. Everybody who were there, including herself, were shocked beyond belief. The information released by Bessie had completely muted their movie picks argument. And Dawson…**

**To say that the guy looked devastated was an understatement. He looked beyond awful. He looked totally destroyed to pieces, shattered into tiny shards.**

**After a moment of two, most were able to regain their senses and speeches back. But Dawson with a blank stare on his face sat motionless, before he suddenly stood up looking around as if he was going to say something, then turned around and bolted through the door without words. While Bessie, witnessing the commotion, just stood there with anger and regret all mixed together expressed on her face, Jen without hesitation called out his name, trying to catch him.**

**What happened out there, Andie could only picture in her head: Jen offered to comfort Dawson and Dawson politely declined the offer.******

**Not knowing what to do, she decided to ask her brother Jack to go home with her. Bessie, feeling awful after dropping the "bomb", had seemed to have the same thought about leaving the Leery's house.**

**They were about to open the door to make their exit when they came face to face with an upset Jen. As their eyes met, Jen just shook her head sadly. Andie's speculation had been confirmed. That was just the beginning of Dawson's downward spiraling.**

**Andie herself was mad, extremely mad. At Dawson for being so insensitive to Joey at the beginning – He had nearly ignored her for most of the year. At Joey for being so heartless to Dawson – Joey had literally stomped on Dawson's already broken heart by going with Pacey. At Pacey for being himself, going after what he had wanted, even after thinking about the repercussions. At Jen and Jack for not being able to stop the painful saga – Jen had actually ignited the fire, by accidentally telling Dawson. At everybody and everything she could ever think of. But mostly, at herself for starting the whole thing – if she would have not cheated on Pacey, this would most probably not happen.**

**"Pacey-" she inaudibly echoed his name.**

**She might seem that she was over Pacey for good, but the truth, secretly deeply buried within her heart, she had always kept a tiny piece of Pacey Witter, a treasure she hoped to redeem back someday. By knowing Joey and Pacey were together somewhere, alone surrounded by the deep blue ocean, she knew that her treasure had been stolen for good.**

**"Hey Andie!" Jack pulled her out of her reverie.******

**"Are you planning to just stand there by the car, or are you going to get yourself inside and drive us to the market as you said earlier, recalling a certain event going to happen tonight." Jack sneered, seating comfortably in the little convertible.**

**Andie, giving her brother an evil look, reached for the car door's handle. As she touched the metal handle, she could hear the elated scream from Jen. She decided to glance back to the dock where she could see Dawson, lifting a struggling and screaming Jen up by the waist, trying to drop her into the creek.**

**Andie smiled warmly at the view as she sat herself on the driver seat while slamming the door shut.**

**"What was that all about?" Jack asked her.**   
**She answered, turning the ignition to start the black Saab. "You know, just our friends maximizing their summer time, being as content as possible."**

* * *

**Meanwhile, on the dock, Dawson and Jen had water dripping continuously off their wet clothes and hair. They seemed to have had another spontaneous activity, as Dawson had called it.**

**Jen could see the black Saab drove away from the Leery's driveway as she tried to get rid off the water that seemed to have gotten into her ears. She was having fun earlier. The photo-shoot was filled with jokes and laughter. Then came the swimming part.**

**Of course, she hadn't planned on having an evening swim post their group activity. That was sort of Dawson's sneaky idea. She looked up to him to see his sheepish smile. Nonetheless, neither had Dawson. She giggled softly. That was courtesy of her – she, clinging tightly to his body, brought him down into the creek with her, making a huge splash.**

**"Are you sure, Jen? I mean you just declined an offer of a lifetime, a romantic night with me, within the confined of my cozy house without the parental unit being around watching like a hawk," Dawson continued their conversation which had been temporarily halted due to the spontaneous swimming activity.**

**"Tempting...But not enough to make me want to bail Grams' arrangement for tonight, considering that I would probably have to sit to endure another mind-boggling, ear-twisting lecture, abundantly filled with biblical connotations from her in the morning," she answered lifting her shoulder.**

**"Oh well, I've tried. I guess I can't beat a devoted grand-daughter," he said a little upset while putting the strap of his camera bag on his shoulder.**

**Helping him, she picked up the other bags filled with equipments. "Sorry Dawson. I'll have to take a rain-check this time...Next time, OK?" She tried to console him slightly after noticing his sudden change of mood.**

**He smiled halfheartedly and replied weakly, "Sure, Jen."**

**They both walked away from the dock towards her house in silence. As they approached the porch, they stopped. She handed the bags to him.**

**"Well, see you tomorrow, Dawson," she said as she leaned forward touching his lips tenderly with hers.**

**"Goodnight, Jen," Dawson responded shortly, failing to hide any sign of his disappointment.**

**Jen just stood on her porch as she watched Dawson with head down walking across the lawn towards his house. She felt remorse already. She had a tremendous urge to stop him.**

**"No Jen, don't. This is what you need to do for now," she reminded herself.**

**"Jennifer, dear, dinner should be ready in five minutes." She heard Grams calling through the screened door. While biting her lower lip, she gave one longing look at Dawson's back, before entering the house.**

**Forcefully, she took her feet to the kitchen where she saw her grandmother washing her hands.**   
**"Hi, Grams," she greeted weakly.**

**Grams was about to return her greet with a smile when she noticed her grand daughter was dripping wet from head to toe. "Oh for heaven sakes, Jennifer. What happened with you, dear?" Grams with full of concern approached her.**

**"I'm Ok, Grams. We were just having fun," she explained calmly, earning a disapproving glance from her grandmother.**

**"Well you young people. I just don't know what you and your friends do for fun. I could only imagine"**   
**"Well, I better get going now. Or I will be late. The pot roast should be done by now. It's in the oven. But you better change out of these clothes first, before catching a malicious pneumonia bug. We don't want that, don't we, dear?" Grams told her, kissing her cheek.**

**Grams was about to exit through the door when she turned around, with apparent concern watching her grand daughter. "Jennifer, are you sure you'll be fine? I thought I heard you sounding rather upset earlier."**

**Smiling, Jen shook her head softly ensuring her grandmother. "I'm fine Grams. You go ahead. Or you're going to be extremely late." Standing still, Grams just looked at her skeptically.**

**"I'll be fine, OK." Jen ushered her out of the door.**   
**"If you said so," Grams answered, still hesitantly.**   
**"Yup. I promise, I'm fine, Grams. Go." Jen gave Grams another final push, as she nodded her head in reassurance while smiling. Grams gave her one last look before finally took off.**

**Jen felt the smile on her face slowly thinning, as she closed the door.******

**She had lied to her grandmother earlier. She was not fine, not at all. She had lied to her boyfriend. She had purposely tricked him into believing that she was supposed to take her grandmother somewhere tonight. She had lied to Dawson Leery.**

* * *

**At the same time, inside the Leery's household, Dawson was rummaging through the fridge, gathering his dinner. He had to eat dinner alone tonight since his parents had decided to go for another round of rendezvous in Boston. He snickered, mentally picturing his parents, but then he slapped himself for doing that.**

**He couldn't turn to his friends also. Since Andie and Jack had an obligation to attend a family engagement, and Jen had refused to be here, since she needed to be somewhere with Grams. He sighed.**

**He then started to work on his sandwich as he observed his surroundings. It was quiet, extremely quiet. Instantly, he felt lonely.**

**This was what he was afraid of. This was what he had avoided all summer. Loneliness.**

**Being alone, he felt the façade he'd been holding all summer slowly tumble off revealing his true fragile self. Suddenly, he felt trapped by her ghostly presence replaying many conversations occurred in this very place. He missed his Joey. He needed Jen.**

**"Damn you, Jen. Why can't you be here with me, saving me from this unbearable torture," he cried out to the empty room.**

* * *

**Later that night as midnight closely approaching, Capeside was consumed with peaceful quietness and stillness. The town looked deserted, aside from the occasional passerbies – a couple who were deeply in love coming home from a romantic dinner, or a person who was eager to get home after finishing his work shift.**

**Somewhere nearby the pier, facing the water, Jen Lindley sat down on one of the wooden benches. Her face was clouded with sadness.**

**After dinner, she had attempted to go to sleep early, drowning her sorrow with dreams. Failing to do so, she had decided to stroll along the town without any particular destination in her mind, and hence she had ended where she was now.******

**Most of the time during her walk, she had been thinking, thinking about the summer and Dawson, and thinking about the future, but mostly thinking about Dawson.**

**She had lied to him earlier. It wasn't that she did not want to spend time with him alone. In her true mind, spending time with Dawson, just the two of them, was something that she'd constantly been dreaming of recently. But when she was actually presented with the opportunity, she had chickened out.******

**"Jen Lindley, a former New York slut, had refused her boyfriend's wish to spend the night alone. What a new concept," she sneered at the thought.**

**Dawson and her had been together for more than a month now.**

**It all started after her extremely long and teary phone conversation with her ex-boyfriend, Henry Parker.******

**Henry had been her boyfriend at one time. He had totally captured Jen Lindley's heart with his charm and sweet talk. But at that faithful night, he hadn't been any of those. He was being concise and rather cold. He told her that he was moving to California for indefinitely and didn't think that a long distance relationship could work.**

**Henry Parker had caused her to cry all night long for almost a week, before Dawson had accidentally stumbled upon her.**

**Dawson had been gentle and tender to her at the time, trying to help her to mend her broken heart. Ironically, she was in his shoes few weeks before, picking up the pieces for him.**

**From then on, their bond became stronger. They had experienced the same thing, being left behind by their loved ones. They felt the connection. They felt their need to cling to each other could actually overshadow their pain and anger. They needed that. They needed each other.**

**When Dawson had finally asked her out on a formal date, she was happy. She thought she would not be hurt by some harmless dates. And this was Dawson, for god sakes. She had dated the guy before, and she used to be his girlfriend.**

**One date became two then three then so on. And before she knew it, they had become a couple for the second time. This time, though, it had been quite different. Dawson had totally devoted his time for her, without Joey throwing remarks and giving looks in the sidelines. He had been extremely caring and loving to her. When she had thought that she couldn't love again, she had once again fallen for Dawson Leery.**

**She had been successful in burying her feeling, but recently her feeling had gotten stronger, escaping out into the surface. She fell fast desperately in love with Dawson. And Jack had acknowledged that realization also, and probably Andie, with her inquiring mind, had also. But unfortunately, not Dawson. He had always been the oblivious one.**

**So when earlier on the dock, he had asked her to spend time with him, alone. She had been afraid. Afraid, that if she would have said yes, she wouldn't be able to hide her feeling any longer, while she knew for sure that Dawson wouldn't reciprocate her feeling. Afraid, that if she would have agreed, she would do something that she would definitely regret on the next day.**

**She sighed deeply.**

**For now, she was content with what she could have. But as the summer came to an end, she couldn't help herself feeling that her seemingly superficial relationship with Dawson would come to its bittersweet conclusion also.**

**Despite of the boyfriend status, she knew deep down that Dawson hadn't truly loved her. He merely had offered his comfort and safety haven to her, but not his heart. She would never be able to own Dawson Leery's heart, since someone else already had it. She could only help him to put the pieces back together until the rightful owner came to claim it.**

**Looking at her watch, Jen decided to walk back home.******

**She pulled her jackets tightly around her, as she felt the icy-cold breeze penetrating into her skin. From a distant, she could dimly make out a boat slowly approaching. She froze on her spot watching, as the boat came out of the haze into her clear sight, docking onto the marina.**

**True Love had finally returned.**

**Meanwhile on the deck of True Love…**

**"Potter, here we are, back right at where we came from, our quaint little town, Capeside," Pacey announced excitedly, genuinely sounding happy to be back, as he anchored the boat.**

**Joey just stood quietly surveying the view of the deserted familiar marina before her. As she saw a figure watching them from afar, breathing in relief, she whispered softly, "Home again." A faint smile slowly materialized on her face.**   


**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**So much that the earth moved**   
**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Even though it hurt to**

**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Nothing else the heart could do**   
**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Who never knew?**

**Did you ever lay your head down?**   
**On the shoulder of a good friend?**   
**And then have to look away somehow**   
**Had to hide the way you felt for them?**

**Have you ever prayed the day would come?**   
**You'd hear them say they feel it too**   
**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Who never knew.**

**And if you did,**   
**Well, you know I'd understand**   
**I could I would**   
**More than anybody can**

**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**So much that the earth moves**   
**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Even though it hurt to**

**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Nothing else your heart could do**   
**Did you ever love somebody?**   
**Like I love you.**   
**Like I love you.**   
**Like I love you.**

_Did You Ever Love Somebody -- Jessica Simpson_   


**To be continued…**   



	5. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 4

**I'm Still Not Over You**   


**Part 4**

**"Love is…born with the pleasure of looking at each other,**   
**it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other,**   
**it is concluded with the impossibility of separation!"**   
_-- Jose Marti Y Perez_

* * *

**Dressed in a maroon spaghetti strap tank top paired with loose khakis, Joey Potter was sitting on her bed, her backpack on her lap. She stood up while tightening the string on her backpack. Her eyes reflected distress, and at the same time looked weary.**

**She exhaled out loud as if she was letting go the mounting stress that had occupied her lately, especially since the day was finally here. And surely, Bessie's constant sarcasm, subtle mentions of her summer bliss, had also contributed to her "gray" mood.**

**The thought of today being the first day of school didn't excite her to a full extent. She had dreaded the moment for the whole week since she had stepped off "True Love". She did try to alleviate the dreadful part of the thought just a little bit by forcing a more positive thought into her brain, such as chanting "that everything would be fine" phrase. And with Pacey by her side constantly cheering her on, it had been a successful effort in the beginning.**

**Why wouldn't it? Life couldn't get any worse for her, right?**

**At the tender age of 17, she had experienced what other people of her age could only experience through the wonders of television, the things most people would refer as "soap-opera-ish" – and recently, the list had gotten longer by including her latest endeavor with her boyfriend in the vast blue sea. Nevertheless, through all of the scandal, tragedy, and melodrama, she had triumphed. She had come out fine, and everything had turned to be fine at the end.**

**But that was then, this was now. The phrase had worked its magic before, not just once, but in more than one occasion. Unfortunately, especially at the time when she needed it the most, the power seemed to have worn off.**

**There was nothing magical about last night, when she was hit by the reality head on, when she had to see it by her own eyes, and when she had to feel it not only in her mind but in her heart, soul, and all of her flesh. She just knew it at that instant that nothing would be the same. Nothing would be fine. Nothing.**

**"Joey! What are you doing in there? I told you before that somebody is waiting for you outside." She heard Bessie holler, bringing her out of her trance.**

**Joey smiled, knowing fully well whom that somebody might be. She shook her head. He's really here, even after she had told him that she would be fine walking by herself to school. "How thoughtful of him," she audibly said to the room, slowly standing up. She slung her backpack over her shoulder in one move, as she took a few steps toward her vanity mirror to check at her reflection.**

**She saw herself in there. She looked pretty decent, aside from the barely red and faint puffiness left by last night's crying marathon. Pursing her lips together, she concluded that she looked presentable enough. She then walked to her door and was about to open it when she heard Bessie's voice again.**

**"JOEY--"**

**"I'm coming. Coming Bess. Jeesh hold your horses there." Joey grumbled through her walk out of the bedroom, toward the kitchen, dragging her feet.**

**Without looking up, she approached Bessie. "Hi Pacey. I thought I…" She raised her head up and instantly her speech was forgotten. She saw Bessie raising her eyebrows.**

**"Hi Joey."**

**"Hi…Jen." Joey greeted back her unexpected, morning visitor. Her voice was wavering, signifying the mixed feeling she was experiencing at the time. Concurrently, Bessie decided to make her quiet exit leaving the two girls, who used to be rivals, to have their private conversation.**

**Standing up from her seat, Jen, without being asked, decided to justify her surprise visit.**

**"OK, Joey, before you jump into any negative conclusion, let me just iterate this. My intention is purely innocence.**   
**I just simply would like to welcome a friend back from a long exhausting journey. Yet I'm sure rather satisfying, judging by the smile you were wearing on your face, just before you looked up to see me." Jen grinned.**

**Joey just looked at Jen skeptically, as she folded her arms in front of her chest signaling that she indeed wanted the explanation.**

**Jen, regaining her straight face, continued on, "I know, why now? I mean, after all of those letters you sent me that I had not replied. That was totally uncharacteristic of an eagerly welcoming friend, you would think. Well the truth is, Joey, I was disappointed with you. I was actually rather bitter at you at the time. I was… Well, nevermind, those are past tense and this is now. To cut to the chase, I eventually grew out of my anger and my disappointment at you. I resolved that no matter how bad you are; you will always need a friend. You could always look at me as the living, breathing proof of that unspoken rule of human kind. And I'm here for you. As a friend who would like to welcome you" Jen extended her hands to Joey, symbolizing her offer of friendship.**

**Still looking unsure, Joey took Jen's hands rather tentatively, then shook it weakly while showing off her lopsided grin.**

* * *

**A little later after that, the two friends had decided to walk to school together. They had just left the Potter's B&B property when their silent walk was interrupted by a bothersome sound of honk. Jen glanced to her side to see a familiar face inside the truck.**

**"Hey Potter". Driving the truck at an extremely low speed to keep the same pace with the girls, an ear to ear smiling Pacey greeted them. "Jen." He nodded toward Jen's direction.**

**"Pacey." Jen replied without a smile while Joey just kept looking forward, keeping her head straight.**

**"Do you, fine looking ladies, care for a ride? You know, to save those beautiful legs of yours for future use"**

** "No thanks, Pacey, I think we could manage just fine with our beautiful pairs of legs." Joey stopped her pace, throwing a smug smile at him; her action was duplicated by Pacey with the truck.**

**Pacey was about to respond with a knowingly smart comeback when he saw from a distance a car was moving toward them.**

**"Oh damn! I better move this so-called truck out of the way before it becomes a junkyard property." He smirked. "OK you ladies think this over. I would be just right there." He pointed to the shoulder side of the road about a few feet down. "Let me know, OK?"**

**After he saw Joey nod her head, he moved the truck to the site he had gestured earlier.**

**Joey turned to look at Jen. "Jen, shall we?"**

**As she met Jen's eyes, she detected a hint of reluctance.**

**"Uhm…I don't know, Joey, I think I should bail this time. No offense, there." Jen paused. "I think I'm just going to continue the journey by foot."**

**Joey felt bad, being about to ditch her friend – probably would be her only friend for the year. "Are you sure Jen? I mean, I can always tell Pacey that... "**

**"No. That's fine, Joey. Go ahead. I'll be fine. Go. Go with your boyfriend." Jen assured her.**

**"Fine, if you really said so, Jen. I mean, I could always say no to him. You know, I've literally spent the entire four months with the guy, almost twenty four seven everyday. I could actually use a change of scenery, you know, under the company of a friend." Joey persuaded not so subtly, while showing her tilted smirk.**

**"Hey you two! Are you guys done contemplating the options, yet?" Pacey yelled out impatiently from the truck.**

**"Just hold on a sec, Pace. We almost reached a decision here," Joey yelled back.**

**"Fine. Just remember that we don't really have all day, Potter."**   
**"And we exactly have about twenty three minutes and fourteen seconds before we could get the first tardy of our senior year," Pacey, still yelling, explained while looking at his watch.**

**"Fine," Joey shouted, acknowledging him.**

**After nodding at Pacey, Joey turned her attention back to Jen.**

**"No it's fine, Joey," Jen gently declined Joey's offer to accompany her, after the brief interruption.**

**Giving up, Joey sighed and smiled sheepishly, "Ok then, see you at school, Jen."**

**"Sure, Joey." Jen smiled back.**

**Joey turned around and started to walk toward Pacey's truck. But, only after three steps, suddenly she turned back facing Jen.**

**"Uhm…Jen." She paused briefly earning a puzzled stare from Jen.**

**" Nice talking to you," She finished, smiling tentatively.**

**"You too, Joey." Jen returned her smile.**

**Joey then turned her back and continued her pace, walking away from Jen.**

**"Joey!" Jen called out, once again ceasing Joey's step.**

**Joey turned her shoulder around, facing Jen for the second time.**

**"Uhm…I know, you didn't ask this before, but I have a strong hunch that you're dying to know about a certain someone whom both you and I had associated well with and whom you had sort of neglected during the summer, uhm...namely Dawson Leery."**

**Hearing his name and the word "neglected", Joey felt her stomach tie into a knot, like what she had been feeling, before Bessie announced Jen's visit.**

**For the first time in her life, she felt that the bridge, that had always been there connecting her to Dawson and him to her, had been destroyed. She literally didn't have the access to his life anymore. She was cut off from Dawson Leery by all means, except for the memories that would forever be painted in her heart, mind, and soul.**

**Dawson, her best friend Dawson. Wrong, Dawson her former best friend that she had neglected all summer seemed just a distant memory. Suddenly, the misery that had been constantly knocking on the door to her heart came back.**

**"Tell me, Jen." Joey said in almost a whisper, fidgeting on her feet. Her eyes avoided Jen's searching eyes.**

**"He was fine, Joey. Actually, he had been surprisingly in a very good state all summer," Jen told her, smiling, "He had been happy."**

**Joey could almost swear that she saw Jen's face glow when she was talking about Dawson. But then, why?**

**After a few seconds of silence, Joey replied almost weakly, trying her best to keep the sadness wrapped by guilt from creeping out. "Thanks Jen, for telling me."**

**Immediately she turned around back to face Pacey's truck which was waiting for her, and she continued her walk forward without turning back.**

* * *

**After seeing Joey getting farther and farther, Jen started to resume her walking slowly. In a distance, she could hear Pacey, once again, yelled out to Joey who seemed to have deliberately slowed her pace down somewhat. An impatient Pacey, then decided to take matters into his own hands, stepped out of the truck and took a few steps so he could stand right next to Joey. Then, without warning, he scooped up a very bewildered and unwilling Joey with his arms and carried her to the truck where he sat her down.**

**Jen laughed quietly at the scene played before her eyes. She could still hear Pacey's laugh and Joey's furious screams and verbal threats, as the truck started to move back onto the road.**

**The scene was especially familiar to her. The set and casts had been quite different, but she had indeed assumed Joey's role just last week on the dock, and of course, with Dawson as the other leading character. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach just remembering the event alone. That was certainly one of their sweetest moments that she would never forget, no matter what.**

**Suddenly her smile disappeared when she felt she had gone too far this time.**

**"No. I can't fall for Dawson Leery again. No, I just can't. I will be hurt again. And I know I will," she whispered to herself. She then bit her lips hard as she was trying to contain the sudden burst of emotion. But deep down she knew it's all too late now. She had truly fallen for Dawson again. She had fallen hard. She was already hurting now.**

**When she told Joey this morning, regarding her paying a visit, that her intention had been friendship centered, she had indeed told the truth. But, in actuality she had initially planned to divulge to Joey about two things. One would be about the friends/welcome things that she had already told Joey, and the other would be about Dawson that she had informed Joey, but purposely left out one pertinent detail about Dawson's new girlfriend, being her.**

**Well, heck. At first, she was planning not to become so courteous or nice to Joey at all. She was just going to drop the bomb, like what Joey had done previously in the beginning of the summer. She was going to rub it all over Joey's face. She couldn't hide her anticipation to see Joey's face, after being informed that Dawson had moved on with his life, let alone with the little Miss New York. Oh, how much she would pay to witness Joey's priceless, painful expression? And she certainly couldn't deny the satisfaction that she would gain afterward.**

**But Jen being Jen the friend of Joey Potter, just couldn't do it, not after looking into Joey's eyes. Joey probably hadn't even once mentioned Dawson's name explicitly, but by just looking into her eyes, Jen just knew it. Joey's eyes, despite of her cheery smiles and cynical smirks or sarcastic remarks, had been clouded with something that Jen had known before when she had first arrived at Capeside, not the jealousy flare, but something hiding behind it. The longing look that Joey used to have when Dawson was still trapped in the world of oblivion, when he had his eyes only for Jen Lindley.**

**And Jen had been right about Joey's feeling this time, and that had been proved when Joey sounded almost begging, encouraging Jen to continue telling her about Dawson's well being. Joey had Pacey as boyfriend, but certainly she hadn't let go of Dawson. Not by a long shot.**

**Now thinking about it, she just couldn't recall the real reason why she didn't tell Joey.**

**Claiming to be Joey's friend, she felt obligated to tell her the whole truth, whereas as a friend she shouldn't set out to hurt her friend regardless of the circumstances. On the other hand, Joey didn't have the right to be angry or upset or anything at her or Dawson. Joey pretty much brought all these chaotic melodrama herself through her actions. But then again, if she would've told her, Joey might change her mind again, leaving Pacey for Dawson. And then, Jen would've been left by herself.**

**But, if she would've not told Joey at all, at the end Joey herself would find out somehow, just like what had happened in the Dawson-Joey-Pacey saga – Dawson eventually found out about his two best friends. She could foresee the outcome would bring more tangled webs to their already complicated life, and Jen certainly didn't want that.**

**"Aah…I should've told her," she yelled to herself frustratingly, before making a mental note to talk to Joey sometime, today or tomorrow.**

* * *

**Meanwhile at the Capeside High parking lot, Dawson Leery was checking his car doors one more time to make sure they were properly locked. He might have an old unattractive rustic car, but walking down to a stripped down car wouldn't be something of interest to him. Besides, the car was also one of the few highlights of his summer.**

**Overall, excluding a certain heart-being-ripped-off-his-chest case, his summer had been good. He had new friends. He had his parents back. He had new interest, photography. He had a car which he had bought with his own saving and with a little incentive from his parents. He had his optimistic view back, mixed with a pinch of the harshness of reality this time. And he had Jen.**

**"Thinking of Jen, where is she by the way?" he wondered looking around the lot attempting to locate his search object.**

**He had stopped by Jen's house earlier, and had been planning to drive her to school. But when he had arrived there, Grams had informed him that Jennifer had left the house for about fifteen minutes or so. Hoping that he would catch her on the way, he had driven a little slower than usual, occasionally looking for Jen's sight. He had no luck, of course.**

**As Dawson turned around away from his car, he heard a familiar honk. He looked over his shoulder. Then, he saw them.**

**He knew that he should turn away and run quick, but for some unknown masochistic reason – or more appropriately an unknown power – he just couldn't move.**

**He felt like he was being nailed down to the floor. He had to see them with his own eyes. He had to see her, especially. And he did. She looked happy and free, not the same person who had begged his friendship just before leaving him on the dock crying. They looked more in love than ever, just as he had envisioned them in one of his dreams.**

**He could almost hear himself cracked or ripped. He almost let the mask fall off him.**

**Suddenly being able to move again, he turned his back on them and took giant steps away from them, entering the school building. He was determined not to make the sight of his ex-best friend and ex-girlfriend bother him in any way.**

* * *

**Hand in hand, Joey and Pacey were walking down the Capeside High crowded hallway. The two seemed to be really preoccupied with each other in their inside jokes and flirtatious banters. They didn't even notice a somber looking man was following them about three feet away.**

**"Uhum…" the man cleared his throat trying to swerve the attentions of the two teenagers before him.**

**"See Jo. You…"**

**"Um…Pacey," The man called out in a very serious tone, cutting off their conversation.**

**Pacey and Joey, both simultaneously stopped their strolling and turned around to locate the source of the well-known voice. Upon being face to face with the man they knew almost forever, their face turned grim. They became anxious, anticipating what would be coming.**

**"Hello Joey.," the man, with a faint smile and a slightly cold voice, greeted the girl that was supposed to be his surrogate daughter, as he approached them.**

**"Mitch!" Pacey exclaimed, trying to be as calm and as collected as possible, before a nervous Joey could even reply.**

** "Mr. Leery, Pacey," Mitch corrected Pacey, giving a stern look at him.**

**"Um…Mr. Leery. How are you doing?" Joey asked hurriedly in a guarded manner, trying to disperse the evident tension.**

**"I am fine, thank you, Joey," Mitch answered curtly followed by a direct request for Pacey, which sounded more like a command than a request, as he was leading the way, moving away from the couple, "May I see you in my office, Pacey... now?"**

**A little taken aback and at the same time timid, looking at Mitch's back, Pacey couldn't help wondering to what might have been the reason for Mitch's very formal and subdued behavior. He did think that Mitch's son might have something to do with that. He wasn't sure, though. He would just wait and see.**

**As he glanced sideway to meet Joey's questioning eyes, Pacey could only shrug and mouth "I don't know".**

**He then leaned toward her and kissed her lips quickly, before holding her hands rather tightly as his eyes gazed into hers trying to find either the comfort or the way out. Joey could only give him a weak half-smile.**

**"Pacey, are you coming?" Mitch called out, glancing at the couple.**

**"Yes sir." Pacey responded, walking away from Joey, yet his scared eyes were still on hers until he was side by side with Mitch.**

* * *

**Joey watched as the two men vanished into one of the offices down the hall. After that, she strolled down the hall in the opposite direction to get to her locker, with her head down, ignoring the hustle and bustle around her. She couldn't help feeling a sudden gloom to wash all over her.**

**Mitch had always been a figure of a real father to her, especially since her real father was carted off to a prison. And when Mitch had addressed her in a such somber tone that sounded foreign to her, she felt really miserable. She felt that for the second time her dad had been taken away from her. And this time she couldn't help feeling that she herself had started the whole thing.**

**As she neared the corner where there were rows of lockers standing straight ahead, she stopped on her track while she looked straight ahead.******

**There were probably more than a dozen Capeside High students roaming around the hall obstructing her view, but she could probably recognize even from a mile away the tall, blond haired boy standing with his back facing her.******

**She just stood there watching his back intently, not knowing what to do. For some reason, she just couldn't tear her eyes away from him.**

**A small smile gradually appeared on Joey's face, as she watched an annoyed Dawson Leery fumbling through his locker. Her eyes softened and wandered down. She remembered. Usually, at this time, she would come to make her grand entrance, throwing a comment about her life's zest or lack thereof sarcastically. And then, Dawson would put an effort trying to elevate her mood by counterattacking the comment with his optimistic jargon.******

**She thought sadly, pushing away the flood of memories that suddenly overflowed her.**

**As she returned her focus at Dawson's back, she felt a sudden glimpse of hope shining over her, giving her some kind of power. Pressing her lips together, she made her mind up. She decided to just ignore what she had found last night and at the same time decided that she had to make the first step. She might have lost what she had before, but that didn't mean that she couldn't rebuild what she had lost. She could start building their bridge back, even though it had to be from scratch.**

**With determination, she lifted her feet off the ground one by one, slowly approaching him.******

**She tried to call out his name, but she seemed to lose her voice somewhat.******

**Once again, she tried, "Dawson-"******

**Unfortunately, her voice seemed to be too weak to be heard, swallowed by the buzzing noise of the crowd. Joey herself couldn't hear her own voice, let alone Dawson.**

**But for some reason, Dawson did react. He turned around but not facing her. Instead, he turned to his right where she could see her friend, Jen Lindley, standing against the lockers.******

**She watched as he made his way toward Jen, a genuine smile apparent in his face. With her mouth slightly ajar, Joey froze on her spot, watching as the scene being unraveled before her eyes. Her smile that was displayed earlier was gone.**

**She could feel a mixture of anger, fear, sadness, and jealousy suddenly hit her at a full force. Being grateful for the congested hallway for the first time and for not being noticed by her objects of observation, she turned away. Without looking back, she ran away fast practically bumping into people, trying to erase what she had seen earlier. She didn't even bother trying to prevent the tears that had brimmed her eyes from falling freely.******

**From then on, Joey Potter was convinced that she could never let go of one thing in her life, that being Dawson Leery, that would forever be etched on her heart.**

**There in front of the rows of lockers and the swarming Capeside students before them, stood Dawson and Jen in a tight embrace, their lips locked together in a kiss.**   
  


**I thought you'd be out of my mind**   
**And I'd finally found a way to**   
**Learn to live without you**   
**I thought it was just a matter of time**   
**Till I had a hundred reasons**   
**Not to think about you**   
**But it's just not so**   
**And after all this time**   
**I still can't let go**

**I've still got your face**   
**Painted on my heart**   
**Scrawled upon my soul**   
**Etched upon my memory baby**   
**I've got your kiss**   
**Still burning on my lips**   
**The touch of your fingertips**   
**This love so deep inside of me**

**I was trying everything that I can**   
**To get my heart to forget you**   
**But it just can't seem to**   
**I guess it's just no use**   
**In every part of me**   
**Is still a part of you**

**I've still got your face**   
**Painted on my heart**   
**Scrawled upon my soul**   
**Etched upon my memory baby**   
**I've got your kiss**   
**Still burning on my lips**   
**The touch of your fingertips**   
**This love so deep inside of me**

**I've still got your face**   
**Painted on my heart**   
**Painted on my heart**   
**Painted on my heart**

**Something in your eyes keeps haunting me**   
**I'm trying to escape you**   
**And I know there ain't no way to**   
**To chase you from my mind**

**I've still got your face**   
**Painted on my heart**   
**Scrawled upon my soul**   
**Etched upon my memory baby**   
**I've got your kiss**   
**Still burning on my lips**   
**The touch of your fingertips**   
**This love so deep inside of me**

**I've still got your face**   
**I've still got your face**   
**painted on my heart**   
**painted on my heart**   
**painted on my heart**

_Painted on My Heart -- The Cult_

**To be continued…**   



	6. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 5

I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 5 **I'm Still Not Over You**   


**Part 5**

**"Love is an act of endless forgiveness,**   
**a tender look which becomes a habit."**   
_-- Peter Ustinov_

**Pacey Witter sat on the stiff wooden chair, nervously tapping his foot in uneven rhythmic patterns. The bell, timing the beginning of the first period, had rung about five minutes ago. "Well, I guess, I would have to miss my senior year pep-talk. Thanks to Mr. Leery." He thought bitterly.**

**Mitch had left just about ten minutes ago when another fellow teacher had asked him about something, and he hadn't come back ever since. Pacey scanned the room with his eyes. His eyes landed on the cherry oak bookshelf, which stood against the back wall of the office. There were five shelves in the bookshelf. Most of the shelves were filled with books of various size, thickness, and color. The middle shelf, however, were filled with different sizes of picture frames. One frame in particular, caught his eyes. The frame was not made of woods or crystals like the other ones, but it was made of some kind of alloy of silver or some metals. There in the middle of the frame, a pair of eyes was looking straight at him, penetrating into his own. Feeling being challenged, Pacey stared back at the picture, and he continued doing that for almost twenty second until when he decided that he was just being stupid. He then diverted his attention to the pile of paper on Mitch's desk. He tried to read the writing from his position. That's when he heard the voices.**

**"Hm… figures, Pacey Witter, the self-proclaiming slacker of Capeside, would be on the academic probation list, joining other Capesiders destined to be losers." Pacey looked up to see the pair of eyes he knew well, looking at him mockingly. "Face it Pace, you're just it. Once a loser, you will always be a loser." Pacey swore that he could hear the picture laughed at him, derisively.**

**Pacey realized that he was just being paranoid for having an argument with a picture of Dawson, but he couldn't help it. "At least, for once, I got the girl, and you my friend, don't." He said smugly, pointing his finger at Dawson's face in the portrait. The portrait just looked back at him, and Pacey swore he could see the smile on Dawson's face turned into a scornful smirk. "Whatever Pace. But you know it, I know it, and everybody know it, Joey and I are soulmate. And when the time comes, she will leave you in the dust, returning to where she belongs, by my side."**

**Feeling the anger boiling inside of him, Pacey stood up and approached the picture. He took the picture with his right hand as he looked at it. "OK Dawson, Let's see who will have the last laugh this time."**

**"Pacey, what are you doing?" Mitch, standing by the door, watched him suspiciously.**   
**Feeling stupid, ashamed, and plainly pathetic to be caught doing what he was about to do to an inanimate object of a picture of Dawson, Pacey, almost lost his grip on the frame, froze on his feet. Mitch slowly walked up to him and took the picture away from him, and he placed it back where it belonged. "Have a seat, Pacey." Mitch broke the uncomfortable silence as he sat down on his chair. Without words, Pacey took his seat back, feeling glad that Mitch did not decide to inquire further for his odd behavior.**

**"Let's get one thing straight first, before starting. I'm here not to judge you nor to condemn you in anyway. What you and my son did or did not do is none of my business. And I'm in no way will take either sides. However, I do hope with all of my heart that you guys will come to your senses and rekindle the friendship back. Cause' god forbids, you guys had been friends like forever, and things like this certainly did not worth the ending of your friendship." Mitch exhaled sharply, then continued on looking straight at Pacey, while Pacey just nodded in response. "With that gotten out of the way, we can finally talk about the reason why I called you here."**

**Meanwhile, in the auditorium packed with students, the new principal, Mr. Harnett had started his pep talk a while ago, which was continuously and enthusiastically cheered by the students. And he seemed to have arrived at the ending.**

**"To conclude this year junior/senior talk, I would like to say just one more thing. Let's make history where the impossible can be overcome, and new heroes will be born proclaiming Capeside High name in the vast world out there. Let's make this year as memorable as possible. And to you, the graduating seniors, you only have one more chance to strive for your goal, to repair the damage you had done in the earlier year, and to start building toward your future endeavor. And one more year to be around the people that you have grown to know over the years, that have consciously or unconsciously influenced, matured, and shaped you, so that you can become whatever you are now." Mr. Harnett paused to catch his breath, before continuing in a more relaxed tone.**   
**"And to you, the shy senior boy who have been watching your dream girl dissecting a frog in your biology class last year, but have never really talked to her about anything but the contents of the text book. This year is going to be your last chance to ask her out."**   
**The whole auditorium roared in laughter as Mr. Harnett finished the last sentence. He stopped his speech, surveying his audience. Once his audience had come down a bit, he continued on. "And of course to you, high school sweethearts, this is also your time to finally make the decision to stay together or not to stay together after the graduation day. Oh the dilemma, either to realize your white picket fence dream with the love of your life, or to pursue your lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer just like your father." He stopped briefly. "Lastly but especially not the least, don't forget that senior year also means extravagant prom night, and the long awaiting senior trip. Thank you." The principal finished his speech. He smiled with satisfaction, looking around him, while the students responded with clapping and shouting.**

**Joey Potter sat at the last row of seats in the huge auditorium with her legs crossed. From the very beginning of the speech to the end, she didn't catch a single word being spoken. She had her head looking down at her hands for most of the times. Only occasionally, when the students' noises had awakened her from her reverie, she would look up, more out of being annoyed than out of inquisitiveness. She then, immediately bowed her head down at the sight of her friends in the middle row fooling around, whispering to each other. The sight had made her heart deeply ached. So, when the new principal finished his speech, she couldn't be more relieved. She instantly stood up and hurried for the exit, and thanked to her seat location she could be out of the auditorium in thirty seconds flat, without any hindrances.**

**Joey was on her way to her homeroom when a hand tapping her shoulder stopped her. She looked up to see a very disturbed Pacey. "Hey."**   
**"Hey." He replied weakly.**   
**"How did it go with Mit…ehm Mr. Leery?" Joey asked with concern, while they both started walking. Pacey looked at her sadly, shaking his head. "Not now Potter, I'll tell you all about it later."**   
**"That bad, huh?" She briefly showed her slanted smirk. Pacey took a quick glance at her.**   
**"Trust me Potter, I wish I could say that that wasn't true, but I couldn't." The two then continued their walk in silence, wishing that they could be somewhere else at that time.**

**A few hours later, after the bell signaling lunch period went off, the students eagerly piled out of the classrooms filling the hallways. The sound of the lockers being slammed mixed with the buzzing sound of the conversations dominated the atmosphere. Friends greeted friends as they hugged each other, telling their summer stories. Teachers greeted teachers as they observed the students, old and new, assessing what could they expect from them for the new semester. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, seniors, along with some of the teachers marched through the long hallway into the cafeteria, crowding the once barren site of the campus.**

**Sandwiched in between students that he barely knew in a queue line, Dawson grabbed a lunch tray from the counter. His eyes had been scanning the doorway into the cafeteria attentively, trying to locate a familiar face. Just his luck, being the first day of school he found out that he didn't have any classes with either Jack, Andie, or Jen, and thankfully didn't either with Pacey or Joey for that matter. Well, so far that was. Keeping his eyes where they had been for the few minutes, he didn't particularly care when a commotion erupted down the line, but when his ears had accidentally caught something. He turned around, peaked by his interest.**

**"Look buddy, my day hasn't actually been that bright. And as I told you before, I just had to get in there for a second to get more ketchup for my burger. Or better yet if you could just pass me the bottle that'll be just fine."**

**"Well, too bad, huh. You just have to get into the end of the line there, missy. Sheesh, get with the program, will you?"**

**"You must be deluding yourself if you think that I would go back in there and waste my scarce lunch hour for a bottle of ketchup. In that case, I'll just have to skip the program, then."**

**"I think not."**

**"Hey! Let go of me."**

**"Aren't you still the feisty one, Joey?"**

**Startled but at the same time relieved, Joey came face to face with no other than that of Dawson Leery. Quietly, she kept her eyes on him, as he let go of her right upper arm and placed the bottle of ketchup gently on her tray, his eyes dodging hers in the process.**   
**"Dawson." She said in almost a whisper.**   
**"Good to see you too, Joey." He replied almost immediately, sounding almost detached. He smiled briefly, and then turned to walk away.**   
**"Thanks." She said softly. He heard her and turned to face her. "Next time when you're planning to show your feistiness, better pick people at your own size." He sneered, before moving away from her.**   
**"Yeah…" She whispered while keeping her eyes on his back, still a little baffled. Normally, she would return his sarcastic comment with her own, but this time she had her tongue tied. And not to mention, his murky eyes that usually twinkled with warmth looked almost scary and cold to her. Then there were his tone of voice and his choice of words which were truly different, practically cynical, sounded more like her than the Dawson she grew up with. Overall, he looked foreign to her, not somebody whom she used to know. She sighed, feeling sad all over again. She had truly lost him.**

**With the tray on her hands, she maneuvered her way into an empty spot by the corner in the hectic cafeteria where she sat down. Even though, she had somewhat managed to pull through from the shocking revelation of this morning, she still hadn't fully recovered from the brief encounter with Dawson earlier. And she was actually glad when she saw them, being Dawson, Jen, Andie, and Jack went outside, probably having their lunch together on the grass. Nevertheless, she felt left out being not able to join the group, being able only to watch them from afar.**

**"Hey you! Care for some company?" Holding a tray with his right hand, Pacey pulled a chair opposite her with his other hand, and practically slumped on it. Joey just looked at him, rolling her eyes. "He must have gotten his misery, this morning." She thought observing him.**

**"So I assume your day has been as good as mine, then?" He started, while looking at his food with disgusted face. "Can you believe this? They actually expect us to be properly nourished by consuming this?" He pointed at the content on his tray.**

**"What do you mean?" Totally ignoring his remark about the food, she asked, sounding almost worried that he actually knew what she had gone through.**   
**"What do I mean? Hmm… Let's see how about having to write three pages of paper for this week, and tons of math homeworks, and …" She cut him.**   
**"Oh stop whining Pacey. I too have tons of homeworks already. And not to mention, I need to do some job hunting and there's my sister. And don't get me start on that one"**

**"Come on Potter, admit it. We're pretty much on the same boat, here." She gave him a 'whatever' look. "We got off the same boat. You have Bessie. I have Doug. You need job. I need one also. And school. We both attend the same school." He elaborated as he dipped his fries into the ketchup.**   
**"Yea, so… what's up with the grumpy attitude then?"**   
**"But… at least you don't have Mr. Leery as your private tutor." He murmured, chewing a mouthful of fries, looking as if what he had said was a normal thing to say.**   
**Joey almost choked on her soda, catching his last sentence. "What!"**   
**"It's official Potter, Mr. Leery and I will have the opportunity to strengthen our bond through our private sessions." He answered lightly.**   
**"Hold on a sec there. I think I must be missing the biggest piece of the puzzle. Care to fill me in on that one, Witter?" She asked looking at his eyes directly.**

**All of the sudden, the ringing sound of the bell, filled the room.**

**Pacey abruptly stood up holding his tray. "Oh what do you know? Lunch is over, back to the wonderful world of learning."**   
**"Pacey! Where are you going. That was just the first bell. We still have ten more minutes." Joey exclaimed back, glaring at him who was walking toward her.**   
**"Well too bad, Potter, I need to have another meeting with Mr. Leery to discuss the arrangement." He said while stepping away, but suddenly turning back to stand next to her, whispering into her ear. "And for tonight, I don't think I would be able to keep you warm, since tonight is the grand premiere of Mitch Leery's private lessons." He grinned, turning his back away from her. Joey just watched him, disconcerted not getting the explanation.**

**"You owe me an explanation, Pacey, a big one. And you better give it soon." Pacey heard Joey yelling from her seat. He smiled as he dropped his tray on the dirty trays racks. He stole a glance back to get a glimpse of Joey still finishing her lunch. She looked livid.**   
**He exited the cafeteria walking casually, thinking that she might be watching him. Once he was outside, leaning against the wall, he let out his breath audibly. He knew he upset Joey already, and he didn't really want to upset her even more. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of any other way. Gathering himself, he walked down the hall that seemed to be sparse of warm bodies now. He stopped in front of a door which was marked 'Student Counselor'. He knocked on the door before someone opened it.**   
**"Pacey! So you've made the decision, I assume?"**   
**"Yes Mr. Leery, as a matter a fact, I have." Pacey let himself in as Mr. Leery closed the door after him.**   


  


**Later on that day, when the bell for the beginning of last period rang, Joey practically ran through the hallway holding books on her chest with her left hand.**

**"Damn! I'm late. I know it. I shouldn't have asked that question to her. She would just go on and on." Joey muttered quietly to herself.**   
**So far so good. She had actually almost finished with school for today, surprisingly without any further incident. While her classes before the lunch break didn't have people she knew, her classes after the lunch period, however had some familiar faces. And thankfully she only saw Andie and Jack – whom at the most she had exchanged pleasantries with – not Dawson and Jen. That was a relief. One more period to go, and then she would be done for the day. And there about few feet ahead, she could see the door to her final destination. "Just few more steps and I will be there." She thought while taking her big steps. Once the door's knob was within her reach, she grabbed the handle firmly, but then she felt another hand on top of her soon after that. Astounded, she looked up to determine the owner of the hand on top of hers. And at the same time, the other person had decided to avert his attention from the piece of paper that had been impeding his view.**

**"Dawson!" She shrieked in astonishment, almost stopped breathing. For one second there, she swore Dawson gave her a smile that she used to know before it was gone replaced by a rather sarcastic smirk. "Well, well, well, of all the beautiful Capeside High girls, my hand has to land on yours, Josephine Potter." Joey glared at him, taken a back by his remark. They both then removed their hands simultaneously. Unsure what to do next, she just stood awkwardly, looking away from him. She desperately wanted to say something to him, but nothing seemed to come out of her mouth. And the fact that Dawson had been acting super aloof didn't help her either. Standing there not doing anything, she was slowly aware of the rapid increase in her heart beat.**

**Suddenly, the door was opened, and a man about mid forties stood before them, scrutinizing them through his glasses perched on his nose, as he was holding a piece of paper that seemed to be filled with students' names.**

**"Mr. Leery." He looked at Dawson.**   
**"And this is must be Ms. Potter." He said looking at Joey, reading off his paper.**   
**"Are you guys still planning to join the class, or you both would prefer to stand here and resume your intimate conversations?" Both, Dawson and Joey, could hear the class laughed in response, making their faces turned slightly red.**   
**"Sorry Sir, I had to run an errand for my previous period teacher." Dawson answered immediately. The teacher then looked at Joey; he was not saying anything but obviously expecting some kind of explanation from her.**   
**"I had a small discussion with my Economy teacher. I guess, we're kind of lost track of time, Sir. I'm sorry." She explained quickly.**   
**Feeling satisfied with the answers, the teacher told them. "Normally, I would send you two to detention for sure, but since you both have valid excuses and since this is the first day of school, I'll let you guys off the hook this time. But remember, next time, it won't be the same. Now get in and find your seat." He commanded while letting them in.**   
**"Sir, by the way for your information, we did not have an intimate conversation." Joey explained without being asked, as she made her way inside the classroom, followed by Dawson behind her who just shrugged when the teacher gave him a questioning look.**

**"Ah I see, trouble in paradise? Well, too bad, you guys just have to learn to communicate a little better, then."**   
**"We're not…" They tried to explain together in chorus but were ignored by the teacher.**   
**"Since you're pretty much will be stuck together for the whole year, doing chemistry." The teacher announced, smiling impishly at them both as they looked at him with wide eyes.**   
**"Ok class, we have wasted a little more time than I had anticipated. My name is Mr. Lawrence…"**

**The arrangement had apparently shocked both Dawson and Joey since the lecture had somewhat became a blur to both of them. They took their stools, next to each other separated by at most two feet, silently. Joey just glanced, smiling nervously toward Dawson, as Dawson grinned, raising his eyebrows at her.**   
**"This is going to be a very interesting senior year after all." Joey spoke to herself, turning her head toward Mr. Lawrence with an effort to start focusing her attention on the lecture. As the face of Dawson grinning faded into a sight of Jen and Dawson locked in a kiss flashing before her mind, Joey's face became crestfallen.**   


  


**Later on that evening, inside the kitchen, Gale Leery just finished washing the dishes when she heard someone entered the house. "Mitch?" She called out.**   
**"Sorry to disappoint you, mom. It's only me, your son." Dawson appeared, throwing his keys on the counter carelessly.**   
**"Hi honey! Have you eaten yet?"**   
**"Yeah, I have with Jen and all." He replied, opening the refrigerator taking a can of soda.**   
**Gail studied him briefly before asking the question that had been nagging her since he walked in. "So…how's your day, Dawson?" He just looked at his mom and smirked, putting the soda down gently on the counter top. "I knew you would ask about that." His mom just gave him an urging look at him. "So?"**   
**He took a deep breath and breathed out audibly before talking. "Amazingly, beside stumbling upon Joey and a certain ex-best friend making goo goo eyes at each other and finding out that in Chemistry I would be partnered with her for the whole year, couldn't be better." He smiled sarcastically while his mom just looked at him, raising her eyebrows. "Honey!"**   
**"I know that you and Joey will find a way to each other soon, but you and Pacey. You both need to put more effort into mending the friendship."**   
**"Mom! Don't!" He cut her short, warning her not to go further. She stopped, but still looking at him with concern. "How about Jen?" She inquired gently. He just gave her a look. "What about her?"**   
**"Dawson, you do plan to tell Joey about her, don't you?"**   
**"Why should I? Frankly, I don't see that it's any of her business now, and the fact that telling her won't change anything." Dawson replied quickly with a hint of bitterness in his voice. Gale looked at her son, almost not trusting her hearing. "Dawson…" Whatever was that; that Gale was about to utter was cut short.**   
**"Mom, stop it, OK. I'll do what I have to do." He paused looking at his mom directly, emphasizing his point. "I'm a little bit tired now. I think I'll just crash upstairs."**   
**"Goodnight, mom." He bent down slightly to kiss Gale's cheek, and then made his way to the bottom of the stairs.**

**"Honey!" Gale called him back. "I forgot to tell you that someone…huh the name totally escaped my mind. Anyway his from Le…"**   
**"Leone Studio." He finished for her. "Yes, that's it. He told you to call him back tomorrow before coming. What was that for?"**   
**"Oh, just my new job." He answered lightly. Gale seemed stupefied for a moment before congratulating her son. "That's wonderful, honey."**   
**"Thanks, mom." He smiled, and then turned to go to his room. Once again, Gale stopped his step. "Dawson, one more thing." Dawson looked at her frustratingly.**   
**"This." She started, disregarding his reaction, as she handed what seemed to be a piece of some kind of paper, rolled and tied with a navy bow. He took it into his hand, as he gave a puzzled face at his mom.**   
**"That's from Joey, honey. She came last night. Actually, I met her last night." He widened his eyes in surprise at the sudden information being revealed to him. He turned away from his mom, avoiding her searching eyes.**   
**"In your room." His mom finished slowly, returning to the kitchen. He took a quick look towards his mom before going up the stairs, fast.**

**Dawson stepped into his room, closing the door behind him gently. He stood facing the door, as slowly he let go of everything that his hands had been holding to the floor. A few seconds later, he turned the other way as he collapsed, with his back against the door. He shut his eyes, recalling all of the events that had taken place today. "What a day had it been." He sighed. As he let his eyes traveled downward, the sight of a roll of paper neatly tied in a bow caught his eyes. Staring at it, he stood at his place not moving.**

**Joey. She had been here, in his room. "Wonder what she thought of my new décor?" He thought. Slowly, he lowered himself down to pick up the 'souvenir' from Joey. Holding the paper with his right hand, he moved to the bed where he sat himself down, not so gently. After a second of deliberation, he untied the bow, revealing a splash of vibrant colors that seemed to sparkle in his rather dark room. He stared at it in awe, and slowly his mouth curved into a smile.**

**Inside the roll, there was a painting, Joey's painting. She had apparently painted the sunrise, sometimes during her journey this summer. In the picture, there was nothing else, just the beautiful scenery that she had captured with her brush – the ocean and the sun, rising on the horizon. But he could tell that she really put a lot of time and effort into it by observing the quality of each stroke, which seemed to be done with extra care, and the palette of colors she chose.**

**The picture had seemed to come alive to him. He could almost see the glistening turquoise water moved, and he could almost feel the warmth from the sun. Slowly, he felt the ice that had occupied his heart lately, melted and the glass mask that he had been wearing fractured. Before he let the processes finished their courses, clenching his jaw, he threw the painting off the bed. Frustratingly, he let himself fell backward against his bed, with his hands supporting the back of his head. It seemed that the wheels in his head started to turn, putting him in the self-analyzing mode.**

**It took him approximately fifteen minutes to finally come with a some sort of resolution, before he jumped out of the bed and practically ran through the door. He flew down the stairs, taking two steps at a time. He directly went to the kitchen, grabbing his key on the counter.**   
**"Dawson?" Mitch looked at him, confused at his son unusual zest. "Where are you going, at this time?" He asked, seeing his son was so eager to bolt out of the door. Dawson grinned at his dad as he opened the door. "I need to take care of some unfinished business, dad." He smiled at his dad and turned to see his mom standing next to his dad, smiling knowingly at him. "I'll be back later." He said, closing the door.**

**Juggling the key in his hands, he approached his car. Then, suddenly, a smile appeared on his face as he put his car key into his pants' pockets. He made a small run, down in the direction of the creek where he then jumped into his boat. He untied the rope, before gripping the oars with his hands; then started rowing at a not so moderate speed away from his house. Never in his lifetime, had he rowed that fast.**

**A little later after that, getting out, Dawson tied his boat onto a wooden pole to secure it. He walked slowly approaching the house standing in front of him. Arriving at the steps, he took a deep breath before skipping over the steps and stopping right in front of the door. His breathing was rapid, and his arms were still sore from the rowing. He looked at the door with determination evident in his eyes. Impatiently, he knocked on the door, practically banging on it.**

**"Go away, we're already fully booked for the night." Dawson could hear a very irritated Bessie yelling inside. Stopping the knocking, he called out to her. "Bessie, it's me, Dawson."**   
**"Dawson?" Bessie asked, not believing her ears.**   
**"Yes, Bessie, it's me." He replied as the door was slowly opened, revealing a very perplexed Bessie.**   
**"Is Joey in? He said, not wasting anytime.**   
**"She's in her room." Bessie answered, her mouth still slightly opened. "Dawson.."**   
**"Thanks, Bess." Dawson responded, while letting himself in, leaving a muted Bessie stood by the door.**

**Dawson made his way to Joey's room, which he had never ever been in yet. As he came face to face with her door, he felt a wave of doubt and nervousness surrounding him.**   
**"What am I doing here? What if she didn't like to she me. What if she was busy and… What if she… What if what's his name was in there with her…feverishly making out with her. What if they were…" His eyes flickered with anger at the thought of them.**   
**"No! I have to do this." He said to himself with determination.**

**Shaking off the feelings, he knocked on the door gently. "Joey." There was no answer. He called out her name again, a little louder this time. "Joey." There was still no answer. He looked down at his shoes, and then he saw the light passing through under the door. Since her light was on, she must be inside. He tried turning the knob. It turned easily, apparently not locked. Gently, he pushed the door opened, as he let himself in. "Joey." He called out softly.**

**The instant he caught her form, his heart almost stopped beating. She was facing the other way, laying down on the bed. She was fast asleep. He turned around ready to leave, but then something that he saw made him changed his mind. He stepped closer to the vanity table and reached out his hand to pick up a framed picture. It was one of those old pictures of them. He brought the photograph closer to his face as he looked at it. A smile slowly formed on his face.**

**"Dawson? Is that you?" With half opened eyes, Joey sat on her bed, yawning widely. Upon seeing a very sleepy Joey, he almost let out a laugh. He moved closer to her side, holding the portrait with his left hand. "Yes, it's me, Joey."**   
**Joey, tried her best to keep her eyes opened, started talking in a rueful tone. "I'm sorry, Dawson. I…"**   
**"Shhh…It's okay, Joey. Go back to sleep." Cutting her short, he said softly as he sat down next to her on the bed. She smiled groggily at him before reclining onto the bed. He was about to move away from the bed when her left hand grabbed his right hand. "Dawson, promise me something before you leave." He sat down, not saying anything while looking into her pleading eyes. "Please." She persuaded, tightening her grip on his hand. "Promise me that we will always be Dawson and Joey.." As he heard the word Dawson and Joey, his eyes softened. And silence fell upon them as their eyes locked.**   
**"I promise." He whispered.**   
**"Good." Smiling contentedly, she shut her eyes slowly falling asleep without releasing his hand. He looked down at their hands entangled, as a surge of familiarity filled him.**

**Nearly at the same time, he leaned forward to gently put the framed photograph that he had been holding on the bedside table, revealing a picture of him and Joey sitting together with innocent happy smiles, their hands intertwined. Behind them, standing in between, Pacey made faces, sticking his tongue out.**

**Before long, her breathing had become even, and her hand had somewhat loosened the grip on his. He gazed at her face with a tender look, whispering softly. "Welcome home, Jo."**   
  
  


**Something in your eyes makes me want**   
**to lose myself**   
**Makes me want to lose myself**   
**In your arms**   
**There's something in your voice makes my**   
**heart beat fast**   
**Hope this feeling lasts**   
**The rest of my life**

**If you knew how lonely my life has been**   
**And how long I've felt so low**   
**If you knew how I wanted someone to**   
**come along**   
**And change my life the way you've done**

**Feels like home to me (2x)**   
**Feels like I'm all the way back where**   
**I come from**   
**Feels like home to me (2x)**   
**Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong**

**A window breaks down a long dark street**   
**And a siren wails in the night**   
**But I'm alright cause I have you here with me**   
**And I can almost see through the dark there's light**

**If you knew how much this moment**   
**means to me**   
**And how long I've waited for your touch**   
**If you knew how happy you are making me**   
**I've never thought I'd love anyone so much**

**Feels like home to me (2x)**   
**Feels like I'm all the wayback where I come from**   
**Feels like home to me (2x)**   
**Feels like I'm all the way back**   
**where I belong**   
**Feels like I'm all the way back**   
**where I belong**

_Feels Like Home -- Chantal Kreviazuk_

**To be continued…**   



	7. I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 6

I'm Still Not Over You -- Part 6 **I'm Still Not Over You**   


**Part 6**

**"The way to love anything is**   
**to realize that it might be lost."**   
_-- G.K. Chesterton_

**The pungent aroma from the bread burnt in the automatic toaster and the egg recently fried on a pan concentrated the air in the kitchen as Joey, already dressed for school, sat on one of the wooden stools by the ceramic counter top.******

**"Joey, you're up early today."******

**Pouring a carton of orange juice into a glass, Joey greeted her sister in response, "Hi Bess. Juice?" Bessie shook her head as she sat down next to Joey. "No thanks." She looked at Joey's face and noticed the faint glow that had been absent lately, since the first morning after her arrival. "And boy, you're in a good mood." Joey put the cap back before placing the carton on the counter. "Can a girl be happy?" Joey returned her sister's remark, raising her eyebrows as Bessie smirked at her. "A girl can, Joey. But you? I don't know." Joey just gave her sister a sharp look as she took the glass with her right hand.******

**Looking right through Joey's menacing glare, Bessie inquired further, "So, let me ask you this. Is this sudden change of attitude has anything to do with a certain boyfriend of yours whom you had spent the whole summer with? Or is this because of a certain blond lad whom you sort of forgot during the summer, yet had shown up out of his will last night in your room?" Joey looked shocked absorbing the last part of Bessie's question, her eyes opening wide, and she almost dropped the glass of juice that she was holding. Instantly, she placed the glass back on the counter.**   
**"He was here? I thought…" Joey trailed off, recalling what she thought had been one of her dreams.******

**Bessie's voice shook Joey out of her trance, as Joey was in the middle of attempting to recollect the account of last night, "Whom did you mean, the blond or the brunette?" Without giving a chance for Joey to answer, Bessie continued, "Oh Joey, If you meant Dawson, he was here all right. He was in your room, I might say, for some time." Joey shook her head in disbelief, listening to Bessie's summary of the last night's event that she had initially thought only occurred in her mind.**   
**"I thought…I thought it was all a dream. I meant…" she uttered, her voice vibrating. "It wasn't a dream. It was as real as it could be. Joey, Dawson was here," Bessie interjected, erasing her sister's uncertainty.******

**"I don't know, Joey. I don't know what's going on, but if the brunette ever found out about this, I don't think he'll approve." Bessie looked at her sister, her eyes filled with concern.**   
**"Bess, Pacey is my boyfriend now, I think he has the right to know about everything. And Dawson…Dawson…I don't know what Dawson is right now. One thing for sure, the best friend status that I used to have had been revoked for good," Joey finished sadly. As she stood up from the stool, Bessie smirked hearing her sister's comment which sounded pessimistic and futile.**   
**"What do you expect, Joey? Any and every decisions or choices we made will have consequences, whether they are good or bad, positive or negative consequences. You made your choice when you embarked Pacey's boat, leaving Dawson all summer. So, you have to live with the consequences now. Your friendship with Dawson is one among others."**   
**"Yeah, others would include your non-stop bitching, and let's not forget the fact that I'm extremely broke and with no job," Joey added sarcastically. Ignoring the bitter remark, Bessie examined her sister's face. Seeing Joey's collapsed face, Bessie decided to lift her sister's mood at least to what it was before. She put her arms around Joey's shoulder displaying an effort to comfort her as well as to give her some strength.******

**"Don't worry, Jo. One thing that I have seen over and over again between you and Dawson is that you guys have a friendship that had gone through rain and storms, thunder and lightning, but at the end, it stands still against them all. Just give the guy some times, I mean it's not as if you hadn't broken his heart several times. Through it all, Jo, through it all, if there's anything I could be so sure about is your bond with Dawson Leery."**   
**"I don't know, Bess. I mean…"**   
**"Joey, if you miss the guy so much, tell him. He was here in person last night, that should count for something, right?"**   
**"Bess, I think…I think it's too late now. He's changed. I don't think he's the same boy I've grown up with. He's not the same boy I used to know. He's not the same boy I used to be best friend with."**   
**"So, you've changed also."**   
**Growing frustrated by the second, Joey kept trying to explain to Bessie the current situation between Dawson and her that she had recently discovered.**   
**"No Bess, you don't understand. And…and there's Je…" The sound of the doorknob being turned and the creaking of the door hinges being opened slowly stopped Joey in mid sentence.**

**"Hi Bessie. Hi Joey." A fresh looking Jen emerged from the door, addressing the two sisters. Bessie automatically smiled at Jen, greeting her back, "Jen! How are you doing?"**   
**"Jen!" At first, Joey exclaimed Jen's name in a high pitch normal tone before she changed it, echoing the name in a lower, heavier tone, "Jen…" Bessie looked back and forth between the two teenagers. Sensing the tension, she excused herself, "Oh uhm I think I hear Alex calling. I think I better take care of that before the little rascal attempts to do any thing evil." Bessie then walked backward a few steps, showing a gawky smile, before turning around to leave her sister and Jen alone.******

**The two girls watched quietly as Bessie made her hasty exit. Nervously, Jen pursed her lips together, taking a deep breath, while Joey maintained her eyes on Bessie's retreating figure. After exhaling loudly, Jen tried to get Joey's attention.**   
**"Look Joey…"**   
**Joey turned sharply to face Jen. Her face showed a complicated mixture of emotions that Jen couldn't put a finger on.**   
**"So what is it this time, Jen. Another honorable deed to befriend me?"**   
**Jen was a little taken a back by Joey's word that seemed harsh in nature. Trying not to make it a big deal, Jen decided to continue, "Joey, I know I should reveal this to you yesterday, but I…" she trailed off as the realization hit her, looking at Joey's increasingly aggravated expression.******

**"Oh my god! You know," Jen exclaimed, her hand on her mouth, her eyes searching Joey's blazing eyes. Immediately Jen felt awful, extremely awful.**   
**"Friends, Jen? Frankly, I don't see that anymore. What I see is you trying to get my approval to seduce Dawson," Joey's acrid voice thundered through the battle raging in Jen's mind. Jen couldn't believe her ears. After hearing Joey's angry and offensive statement, the pity and remorse that she was harboring for Joey at that time instantly vanished, replaced by extreme disappointment, resentment, and fury. She looked Joey in the eyes as she raised her voice at her, expressing her own anger.**   
**"Approval? Joey, I don't need an approval from anybody, let alone from you. Dawson is a human being. He is capable of making his own decision; ironically, so can you." Jen paused. She narrowed her eyes, still looking into Joey's. "You know what I think, honestly, I don't think that's the problem at all. I think you're just scared that Dawson won't let you be a part of his life. That's it. You're afraid that he won't be available to you anymore when you want him. It's just too bad, huh, Joey. A kind hearted, caring, Dawson won't be there to greet you with a bottle of expensive champagne and fresh flowers as you disembark the boat of love. Tough luck, huh? You chose and you have Pacey now. Or are you planning to have Dawson also?"******

**Joey froze upon hearing Jen's hurtful word. She clenched her jaw to maintain her straight composure, to prevent the tears that had dangerously come close from falling. Jen looked at Joey with the small remnants of what was left of her positive opinions on Joey. "Please do me a favor, Joey, if you've ever thought that everything will be back to normal, don't OK?" Joey just bowed her head, avoiding Jen's eyes. Jen looked at Joey sadly as she approached the door. "And if you've ever planned to repair what ever you used to have with Dawson, think hard OK? You might end up hurting him again and at the same time there's the high possibility of killing him for good." Before exiting, Jen stole a quick look at Joey who was still frozen on her spot, her head still down. "Lastly, if you ever get your sense back, my offer still stands." Jen turned, and then stepped out. As she was closing the door slowly, Jen said one last thing, "I'll see you in school."******

**Hearing the door being closed, Joey, finally able to breathe again, looked up to see the door. She had anguish and pain plastered all over her face. She shut her eyes, biting her bottom lip, hard. As she opened her eyes slowly, Jen's words were being played over and over again in her head. She took one look at the door before opening it fast and running through it. Standing on the porch, she could see a blond girl's back moving farther away from her. She called out as loud as she could while running to approach the blond. "Jen!" Jen stopped and turned around. But at the same time, a truck pulled into a stop a few feet down, and from the other side Dawson made his unanticipated entrance. Joey dropped her jaw at the sight while Jen gulped nervously.**

**"Jen, there you are. Grams…" Dawson stopped on his track, as Jen gave him a weak smile.******

**Slamming his car's door practically with full force, Pacey hopped off from the truck. "Potter, are…" His eyes bulged as he watched the three people in front.******

**All four of them stoned on their feet, not one dared to move or tried to say something first. The invisible barrier that was not there before suddenly emerged, constraining them into one of the two sides created by the imaginary wall. On one side there were Dawson and Jen, while the other side was occupied by Pacey and Joey.******

**"Dawson! Hi! Sorry that I forgot to tell you," Pulling all of them from theirs various states of shocks they were in, with a forced smile and a fake levity in her voice, Jen approached Dawson. Unsure of what to do, Dawson strained a smile on his face at her, while his eyes inadvertently caught Joey's gaze at him. In that one second period, both Joey and Dawson could sense something almost familiar, a dimmed glow of connection that they used to have. But, the rustling noise of someone stepping on the grass extinguished the faint flicker into thin air, bringing back the uneasiness. They simultaneously turned their eyes away from each other as Dawson noticed a muted Pacey walking cautiously toward Joey, his hands in his pocket.******

**Missing the short-lived exchanges between Dawson and Joey, Jen turned around to see Pacey approaching. And for some reason, she felt that she wasn't supposed to be there; she didn't belong in the circle. She then felt someone's hand tapping her shoulder lightly. She glanced to her left to see Dawson's pleading look. "Shall we, Jen." Nodding at him, she mumbled an answer weakly, "Uh hmm." The two then started to walk away, leaving the Potter's property.******

**At the same time, Pacey had made it to stand in front of Joey, his back facing Dawson and Jen. Joey smiled nervously at him, greeting him not so enthusiastically. "Hey, Pacey." Her voice sounded more like a whisper than a normal voice. As she greeted her boyfriend, Joey could hear Dawson's plea to Jen to leave immediately.**   
**Meanwhile, Pacey studied her face momentarily. "Ready, Potter?" he asked, totally skipping over the small talk that had become like a ritual to them. "Give me a minute, Pacey. I need to get my backpack first, "she told him. While she and Pacey were walking toward the house, Joey sneaked a glance over her shoulder. She fleetingly looked at the two retreating figures, before she turned around, stepping into the porch then into the house.******

**Jen had decided to look back into the direction of the B&B. That was when she caught the last part of Joey's furtive glance toward Dawson and her. The look on Joey's face was classic. She couldn't mistake that look for something else. She knew the look to well already - the same look that she had witnessed over and over again, the painful yearning look. She watched as Joey and Pacey disappeared into the house before she turned back facing the front. Stealing a peek at Dawson, who had been extremely quiet since they started walking, a bitter smile appeared on her face. "Let the game begins," she announced to herself inaudibly.******

**"Jen." After a few steps, Dawson called out suddenly, snapping her from her thought.**   
**"Uh huh, " she answered distractedly.**   
**"Thanks. Thanks for everything. I mean, I'm sincerely happy to be with you, " he quickly uttered, making her at loss for words to respond to his sudden confession.**   
**Then, she felt Dawson's hand touching hers tentatively. They stopped their pace. She looked up to see his genuine smile. She smiled back as he held her hand in his, squeezing it gently. And they continued their walk hand in hand quietly.**

**Later on that day, approximately around noon time…******

**Carrying their lunch trays, Andie and Jack Mc Phee with gladness left the long line of students. Jack had been a faithful listener to Andie's constant talking which had begun the second she approached him by his lockers. In that approximately fifteen minutes period - the time needed to get from the locker to finally obtain the cafeteria food - Andie had shared to him about every single little thing known to man, in general, from her argument with the history teacher to the problem with her hair dryer, from family affairs to the newest trend in health and fitness, from her obsession about college and the future to the plan for the weekend.******

**As they were standing in the middle of the crowded cafeteria, their eyes scanned through the masses of students. And at the moment, Andie was still talking in her usual effervescent nature.**   
**"So Jack, I was thinking…" Feeling being nudged, Andie stopped her chatter. She looked at Jack with annoyance.**   
**"Andie, I think we might have a problem," Jack said, his eyes were focused on something.**   
**"Why?" She asked with a little bit of irritation in her voice.**   
**"Look, we have those two at two o'clock whereas the other two at eight o'clock," Jack explained while pointing at the two different directions with his chin. Andie followed Jack's direction to see what he was talking about. As her eyes fell upon the couple sitting to her left side, she frowned.**   
**"So what do you think? Should we split? I'll take the eight o'clock one while you can take the other one," he proposed without looking at his sister while he started to walk away.**   
**"I don't think so Jack," Andie answered sternly, stopping Jack.**   
**"Huh?" Jack turned around to see his sister, a little surprised with her answer.**   
**"I just think we should stick with our friends, the one that we have spent the whole summer with, the one that we have spent most of our times with," Andie reasoned with a serious expression, earning a doubting look from her brother.**   
**"Andie, I just think that…"**   
**"Please, Jack." Begging, Andie interrupted her brother.**   
**"I don't know, Andie." Still unsure, Jack uttered.**   
**"Please."**   
**"Oh, fine." Giving up, Jack followed Andie walking toward Dawson and Jen who were sitting on the right corner of the cafeteria after giving a poignant look toward Pacey and Joey.**

**A few hours later…******

**"Damn! Not again. I can't not believe this. I'm getting to be late again," Joey cursed under her breath while running as fast as she could to her last period class. As she stopped right in front of the opened door before her, from where she could clearly hear the chaos inside, she breathed in relief. "Good, he's not here yet," she said to herself, stepping into the noisy classroom. As she looked around her, she could see that her classmates did not particularly care that their teacher was still missing. On one corner, she could see a group of boys was admiring something from the magazine. "Pigs," she sneered. On another, she could see a group of girls was talking and laughing loudly. Rolling her eyes, she diverted her attention in the direction she was supposed to be sitting. Then, she saw him. She saw Dawson. He looked busy, scribbling something on his notepad, not even bothered in the slightest by all the activities going around him.******

**Slowly, she made her way toward her seat. As she was getting nearer and nearer, she couldn't stop the rapid beating of her heart. Dawson, however, was totally unaffected. He was still very much into his notepad. She took her seat next to him. "Hey," she greeted awkwardly. "Hey," he called back absentmindedly, without looking at her. She could see his profile from the side, his untrimmed bangs hanging loosely practically covering his eyes. She was just so tempted to reach her hand out to remove the wisps away, but she knew better than to do that. Unconsciously, she sighed loudly causing Dawson to look at her briefly from the corner of his eyes. He didn't move, though, as she watched him, expecting at least some kind of bodily movement from him. She let out another breath quietly, looking at the desk in front of her. It seemed that Dawson was deliberately being callous to her. "Fine, be that way. Two can play the same game," she said silently to herself, resting her hands on the desk.******

**A few minutes passed by with Joey playing with her fingers and Dawson continuously doodling or writing something on his notepad. Suddenly, she sharply turned her head to the left looking at him. The indifferent attitude that this 'new' Dawson had been exhibiting had started to grow inside of her. The more she tried to ignore that; the more it bugged her. Unable to fight her frustration anymore, she stood up from her stools, nearly knocking it in the process, staring at him.******

**"Cute, Dawson! Are you trying to frustrate me to my limit? Because if you are, you certainly succeeded," she blurted out loudly. Dawson turned this time and looked at her face. He looked a little shocked and confused, but then he smirked. She turned around, looking around her. Instantly, as she saw pairs of eyes watching her with amusement, she wished she could just magically disappear. Apparently, Dawson's apathy had occupied her mind for most of the time when she was sitting, causing her to totally fail to notice Mr. Lawrence's arrival in the classroom.******

**"Well, well, well, if that's not my favorite couple, Ms. Potter and Mr. Leery. So what is it this time? Arguing about which side you're supposed to be seating at? Or who's going to wash the glass wares after each experiment?" Mr. Lawrence approached the two students slowly. "Or any other?" he sarcastically asked, slamming his right hand on the desk, causing Joey to jerk her head upward to look at him.**   
**"No sir," she quickly replied in a remorseful tone as she sat down slowly. Joey could feel the teacher's eyes on her for a brief period of time before he turned around and walked away. She sighed a relief.******

**"Class, we talked about chemical reactions yesterday. And here what we had just witnessed was another example of a reaction." Mr. Lawrence paused, turning around to look toward Dawson and Joey. And the whole class seemed to follow his act.**   
**"One element combined with another element of different physical and chemical properties. Kaboom!" he mimicked an explosion sound, dramatizing it by his hands gestures, "A reaction occurs producing in this case, heat." Mr. Lawrence fixed his glasses, as he peered at Joey.**   
**"Miss Potter I would rather have you not sharing the domestic situation between you and your friend, Mr. Leery, with the class. We'll have plenty of reactions to cover for the entire year, so you don't need to contribute more."**   
**Joey just bowed her head in embarrassment as Mr. Lawrence gave her another long pointed look before he walked away toward the front. She then could hear Dawson letting out several fake coughs, obviously trying to prevent himself from laughing out loud. And her ears could clearly capture the faint sound of giggles and whispers from all around her. Folding her arms on the desk, she decided to ignore all of them altogether.******

****

**Minutes had passed since the incident, she didn't have to look, but she knew that right now Dawson was eyeing her keenly. She had been feeling his eyes on her since the small scene about reaction earlier. That part she could live with, but the constant grin on his face she couldn't. She wished that they were somewhere other than in the classroom, so that she could wipe that stupid smirk off his pretty face. Turning away to face the blackboard, she grabbed her pen rather roughly, and then started transcribing whatever was written on the board on to her notebook, attempting so hard to disregard Dawson's amused look.******

**Joey had been continuously writing on her notebook. She had practically given up on concentrating to listen to the lecture. From the outside, she looked serious enough with her head looking down toward the notebook and her hand moving constantly, but inside she was growing increasingly furious. Dawson had lessened the "torture" slightly, but he still every so often would glance toward her with that stupid smirk, and sometimes he even would let out a perceptible sigh. She didn't know how much longer she could keep the charade, before she literally knocked that smirk out of his face.******

**Out of nowhere, a piece of paper folded into a small packet being pushed toward her busy hand, caught her eyes. She examined the paper with her eyes before she turned to look at her 'partner'. As her eyes fell upon him, she could see that he had his full attention to the front. His eyes were fixated toward the blackboard. His lips, however, was slightly curved upward. She took the small packet with her hand and quickly unfolded it. She almost let out an angry gasp as she looked at what was on the paper. The paper was embellished with Dawson messy scribbles. There was a picture, a very elementary level picture of a smiling face, but that wasn't the only thing. The writing on it was actually the one that got her a bit on the edge. In that tiny piece of paper Dawson wrote, "That was cute, Josephine. I'm sure you learnt a lot about chemistry today." After finished reading it, she automatically glared at him while he looked directly at her, arching his eyebrows and shrugging, with an innocent smile on his face.******

**They kept the 'game' for about another fifteen minutes, when the ear piercing sound of the bell signaling the end of the period as well as the end of that particular school day took them by surprise. She gathered her notebook into her backpack as Dawson did the same exact thing. She couldn't be more happier than to exit the class room, along with escaping Dawson's non-stop teasing.******

**"Class, remember the homework for tomorrow. Please try to read chapter two for tonight.**   
**At this time, a pop quiz is not too unusual to expect. Also, don't forget we're going to start the first laboratory experiment next week. So be sure to discuss with your partner about the arrangement, and also you need to have the protocol ready by then." Mr. Lawrence's announcement could barely be heard through the noises created from the moving of the stools, the zipping of the backpacks, and the whispering of students enthusiastic to go home. Upon hearing the announcement, Joey could only roll her eyes, wondering what could she and her 'partner' discuss in one of their many meetings. She then felt his eyes on her again. Turning around to face him, she confronted him. "What!" Her voice sounded angry and impatient, causing him to back up a bit, feeling a little intimidated by her tone. "Aren't we still feisty today," he replied lightly. She was not moved by his comment. "Spill, Leery," she uttered, rather rudely. He started, this time with a more serious tone without that annoying grin, "Joey, I just want to say thank you," he said while she just looked at him confusedly, totally not expecting that. "For the painting…that…that was beautiful, thanks, " he finished. He then slung his backpack over his shoulder, ready to walk away.**   
**"Dawson!" He stopped and turned to face her. "Ehm…I'm…I…Thank you for last night." Dawson raised his eyebrows at her as she continued, "I know you came to visit last night, thanks." Dawson looked at her and smiled sincerely while she returned it by showing her lopsided smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.******

**"Hey, you two! I expect a flawless protocol from you both, aside from the intimate extra-curricular activities that you guys might engage in." Stepping out of the classroom, Mr. Lawrence threw another last comment toward Dawson and Joey, breaking the obvious tension between them.******

**Dawson looked at Joey as Joey looked at Dawson. Simultaneously, they mouthed the word extracurricular at each other with a funny look. They froze for a split second before broke out laughing, fully missing the sad look, a lone blond standing by the door gave toward them.**

**"Hi Joey, Dawson." Still by the door, the blond greeted - loud enough for them to hear - stopping their laughing instantly. They turned to see toward the door where they saw no other than Jennifer Lindley standing casually with a smile on her face.**   
  
**"Jen! I was about to find you," Dawson explained, looking at Jen who was walking toward him and Joey. At the same time, Joey could only stand and watch. She didn't really know what to do - should she return Jen's greeting or should she just stay quiet or should she jump into the conversation just like it is a normal thing to do. She then decided for the second option, watching as Jen stood next to Dawson, exchanging small talks which were a little soft for her to hear.**   
**Just as before, they still looked so perfect together, just like a picture of a perfect couple. Their matching blond hairs and their complementing facial features just made them looked so cute together.******

**Unable to fight feeling like the third wheel, Joey slung the backpack over her shoulder, pressing her lips together.**   
**"Guys, I think I'm going to take off now. See you tomorrow," she said, turning around.**   
**"Hey, Joey," Jen called out, stopping her from leaving. She turned around to face Jen.**   
**"Joey, I was thinking if I could go home with you. I mean… I mean I need to talk to you." Jen stopped briefly to return Dawson's questioning look with her 'I'll tell you later' look. Dawson didn't look too satisfied, though.**   
**"Privately," Jen added looking back at Joey.**   
**"Sorry Jen, I kind of promised Pa… ehm someone."**   
**"It's Ok, Jo. You could say his name, " Dawson interjected, surprising the two girls. Looking at him Joey continued, sounded a bit hesitant, "Yeah I promised ehm… Pacey to meet him after school."**   
**"I guess next time, then?" Jen asked a little disappointed.**   
**"How about tonight, I mean, I don't have a job yet, so I'm pretty much free all night."**   
**"Are you sure? How about ehm…?" Jen questioned her back, earning a look from Dawson.**   
**"Pacey," he snapped, filling out the blank in her sentence, looking a little frustrated. "It's way too obvious what you guys were trying to do here, don't you think? You both suddenly struck by amnesia spells, forgetting a Pacey Witter? Oh, please, " Dawson said in a mocking tone, studying the two faces in front of him.**   
**"Oh well, Jen I'll be waiting by the door OK, " Dawson told Jen, gesturing toward the door with his chin. "Now you both could talk about him freely," he said, walking away from them, still sounding a little exasperated and hurt in a way. Jen didn't even try to stop him, instead she couldn't help to actually feel relieved that he left, giving her and Joey some privacy.******

**Jen and Joey watched as Dawson took a seat which was situated the closest to the exit.**   
**"No, Jen. Tonight should be fine. Every night, Pacey has tutoring, so I'll be free tonight and every weekday night," Joey explained to Jen, continuing their conversation.**   
**"I don't think I have anything either for tonight," Jen told Joey.**   
**"Well tonight it is then." Joey decided for them, smiling.**   
**"Tonight." Jen concurred, also smiling. The two girls then stood uncomfortably for a few seconds, not talking.**   
**"I gotta go, Joey. Dawson is waiting. See you later," Jen blurted out quickly, smiling awkwardly. Joey took a quick glance toward Dawson who looked eager to go home.**   
**"Yeah, I think you better go."**   
**"See you, Jen. I think I'll come by to your house around eight. Is that OK?" Joey asked, and Jen nodded in agreement.******

**Jen turned around and walked toward Dawson who was noticeably rather bored waiting for her. Joey, again, could only watch as the couple exited the room. Soon, after the couple had disappeared through the door, she could hear their joyful and carefree giggles coming from outside. "They're probably feverishly making out outside, since they didn't have the convenience to do so here, " she snickered, unable to contain the jealousy that slowly seeping through her facial expression.******

**Jen didn't miss Joey's look at Dawson and her as they walked out of the deserted class room. That look again. She couldn't remember how many times she had already caught Joey looking at them, obviously specifically directed at Dawson not her. The old Joey seemed to have come back. She sighed, dreading what would come next, knowing that the Joey that she knew would not just sit still and enjoy the view. The Joey that she knew would start pulling the strings and pushing the buttons. The Joey that she knew would start the game and would definitely not want to lose. She closed her eyes briefly. Her time with Dawson was running out.******

**"Jen, have you been listening to me?" Dawson asked, searching her eyes. She was propelled out of her reverie.**   
**"Oops…sorry Dawson, I was just thinking about homework," she lied while showing her bright smile.******

**They continued their stroll to exit the school building. While Dawson continued talking about the documentation piece which he did during the summer and something about his new job, Jen, although seemed that she had been listening to his talk attentively, couldn't help to have her mind wandered away, feeling alone and used in a way.**   


**_I've been lonely_**   
**_I've been waiting for you_**   
**_I'm pretending and that's all I can do_**   
**_The love I'm sending_**   
**_Ain't making it through to your heart_**   
**_You've been hiding, never letting it show_**   
**_Always trying to keep it under control_**   
**_You got it down and you're well_**   
**_On the way to the top_**   
**_But there's something that you forgot_**

**_What about love_**   
**_Don't you want someone to care about you_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_Don't let it slip away_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_I only want to share it with you_**   
**_You might need it someday_**

**_I can't tell you what you're feeling inside_**   
**_I can't sell you what you don't want to buy_**   
**_Something's missing and you got to_**   
**_Look back on your life_**   
**_You know something here just ain't right_**

**_What about love_**   
**_Don't you want someone to care about you_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_Don't let it slip away_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_I only want to share it with you_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_Don't you want someone to care about you_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_Don't let it slip away_**   
**_What about love_**   
**_I only want to share it with you_**

_What About Love -- Heart_   
  


**To be continued…**   



End file.
